Page 39 of Last Breath

“Hi, I’m Joy.” Bending low, hearing the slow breaths of the yoga mom in spandex, there’s no hesitation in my stroke. The feel of the knife as it passes along her skin as it tears flesh amazes me. I watch the remainder of the light leaving her eyes.

“Good night, Felicia. Sweet dreams,” I tell her.

Standing up and turning back to Salem, I find that he’s happy. I know I did what he expected, and that I did it well.

Remembering why I came in search of him in the first place, I say, “Mal’s waiting in the car.”

Hugging me tight, I forget about that silly box in my pocket for a moment. Instead, I think of blood, life, and love. I think of a past that is now coated in death and blood.

Hearing distant sirens, Sal pipes up, “Let’s go.”

As we step around his design, his artwork, his creation, I see the beauty in his disaster.

Chapter 19

Joy

Walking out the back to the waiting car, Salem holds the door for me to climb in before he piles in the back beside me. We’re not sitting in the back because we’re hiding. If we could, we’d shout from the rooftops how enjoyable death can be. Am I sick? Some may say so, but I find an innate satisfaction in the finality of life.

The day that Salem and Malachi barged their way into my life was a turning point in who I was, moreover, who I was meant to be.

As I scoot across the seat to the side behind Malachi, I watch Salem close the door, taking a seat beside me. “You two are a right mess,” Mal grumbles. He always does when we leave a disaster on the ancient leather.

With Mal starting out of the vacant lot, Salem’safterritual will begin. Laying out each of his knives, cleaning them meticulously, lovingly placing them in their holder—the one that he keeps under the passenger seat—he sets the pouch on the seat between us.

Moving through them one by one, clearing them of any traces, Salem visibly calms. Inch by inch his psychosis settles. As he’s finishing the last one, I know what comes next.

Sex is the second part of his needy ritual.

I’m his as Malachi drives.

Salem is regimented. His knives are his life, an extension of his soul. There’s an odd OCD about his knives. When his switch flips, even Mal and I need to be careful.

Waiting patiently, I anticipate the contact.

“Joy,” Salem states forcefully, but with a tone that has me excited.

Waiting on his next move, I look over at him and say nothing. His chest heaves, his breathing is raspy, and his thoughts are swimming. I’ve learned a lot with these men— their quirks, their nuances, their triggers. When he looks like this, I’m in for something euphoric.

I’m enraptured by Salem. He’s the lion stalking me. He moves methodically and with purpose. Every inch he shifts on the bench tells me he’s preparing. Every heated breath that he lets out slowly, I know he’s contemplating where to start. I don’t take my eyes from his. I don’t dare look away. Even to venture a gaze at the rearview mirror is too much.

Yes, I know Mal is watching. They both do, and it excites me. Do I think they don’t palm their cocks as they watch me? Of course they do.

“Remove your shorts,” Salem tells me, thumbing his favorite knife. Stroking it slowly from hilt to blade, he runs a finger along the edge. Not enough pressure to cut, but enough to feel the sharp edge. He knows his blades as well as his own body. Maybe more.

As instructed, popping the button, a sharp intake of air is heard. It’s Malachi. Pulling the zipper, hearing the teeth tick down, I know Mal is gripping the steering wheel with excessive pressure. Shuttling my shorts down, turning them slightly, the little white box sticks up partway.

As I reach to pull it free, Malachi questions darkly, “What’s that?”

There’s no use in hiding what it is, we live inveryclose quarters. “A pregnancy test.”

“Why would—”

As understanding hits Malachi, he slams down on the brakes and pulls off the road.

“Mal, we’re not far enough away yet. Why are you stopping?”

“Joy, did you pee on the stick already?” Salem asks calmly, though his body tells a different story. He’s ready to kill again.

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