Page 31 of Tied

Tyler

Shoulder bumping me, knocking me from the amusing conversations of Tig and his execution of diaper changing etiquette, Tessa grins. She’s the tiniest lady, no more than five foot one, and a full head shorter than me when we’re at the table. But for what she’s missing in height, she more than makes up for in attitude. Blunt force trauma I like to call it.

“Tell me,” she demands.

As her son squirms on my lap, I ask, “Tell you what, Tessa girl?”

“Why are you hiding? He’s—”

“The wrong man for me.”

“All right, mister. What man is ever going to be right for you? I’ve known you going on fifteen years, and you’re letting one really bad relationship cloud you for all relationships.”

True. I’m not telling her that though.

Touching my arm, staring into my eyes deeply, Tessa holds my chin. “When’s the last time you had a man in your arms, Tyler?”

Thinking on it, I have a hard time giving her an answer.

“Exactly. You can’t call yourself gay if you’re not engaged in the act. At least not in my book. You’re basically a monk.”

She glowers at me, like I’m expecting Prince Charming or nothing. Maybe I am?

“He’s beautiful, and gay. That should be a plus in your book to start with. Anything beyond that will fall into place if it’s meant to be. Just try something with someone, Tyler.”

“My biggest fear is the one thing I don’t think I can get past. He’s known for it now, and I don’t know that he can prove it to me that he’s better than what’s been broadcasted.”

“And that is?”

“He’s a married man...to a woman. And he’s been caught with men. That’s cheating in my book.”

She laughs darkly. “You’re kidding me? That’s your reason for avoiding him?”

“I can’t overlook that.”

“Then you’re never going to be happy again, honey. Every relationship is a fight. He’s upfront about his sexuality now. I bet you, things will change in his life now that he’s out. I mean, you remember what it was like when friends hadn’t come out yet. Think about their fears. I mean, shit, look at Chris. You can’t expect it’s been easy.”

Looking at Chris, I see a quiet man, respectful of the new people he’s surrounded by. Not a cocky man, not sulking about being caught and fried by the news, and giving me room when he knows I’m not comfortable with his proposal from the other night. He’s content to leave here and give me space. But I don’t think I’m seeing what she means. As if the confusion is written on my face, Tessa pipes back up with more knowledgeable wealth. “Tyler. He’s what, six-six? At least two-twenty?”

“Two-fifty easy.”

“What else do you see?”

When I don’t answer her, she continues on. “I see military tattoos, scars, a sadness in a man that has a very high profile position that by public opinion, can be squashed in no time. He wants what his heart wants. He’s hiding who he really is. He’s kept the real Chris from the public to gain his job and to hold it. Don’t you see the pressure? Your family owned the company and you’ve done well with it because you’re brilliant. But sweetheart, you’re the dumbest smart guy I know.”

“I’ve never denied being a man that loves the company of men.”

“Yeah, but by the looks of it, he’s had no other way. Give him a shot is all I’m saying. You just never know where you’ll find love.”

“I’m not looking for love, Tessa girl.”

“Fine. Then look for a fuck and go from there. Stop the drought. You obviously have an interest in him. You’ve yet to look away. Stealing glances, listening to him…I know when you’re not fully concentrating on me, and you wouldn’t be this flustered about it if you didn’t want to know more. Find out more.”

Thinking on it, I smile and say, “Love you, Tessa girl.”

“Love you too, dumb smart guy.”

---