Page 26 of Tied

Chris

“Do you only call me when you fuck something up, Chris?”

Scrunching up my features, I realize she’s right. I answer, admonished, “Mostly.”

“Jesus H. Christ, Chris!” Pausing, she addresses someone else. “No! No, on this you’re not right. I’ll swear and get flustered all I want, Crown! Now sit there and work on needlepoint or something.” She comes back to our conversation. “Chris, I gave you a persona that was made of glory, perfection, and the shit that any democratic straight man would kill for. An ex-Military, card carrying NRA member shouldn’t need me to fix shit yet again!”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry, Carli.” She’s right.

I’ve been sitting in the chair, watching the world pass me by as I hide here in the hotel. I checked the global app on my phone before calling Carli. It’s not that late in Japan that I couldn’t give her a ring. Late or early, either way, she was going to cut into me like a Kobe steak.

I sigh deeply into the phone. If Carli were here, I’d be running or taking physical blows. “Chris, I care for you. I feel awful you were caught up in a mess like this, and I won’t tell you I told you so, mainly because you know it, and I won’t kick you in the balls while they’re blue.”

“Thanks.”

“But I hope you fucked him up. He took a few good shots to the head, right?” Evil woman.

“Yes.”

“Good, because I can’t fly there to kick his ass for you.” Growing quiet, she whispers, “But I do have assassins at my disposal now. No! No, I won’t go there. That’s old family business stuff. Just know there’s contacts if necessary for the long haul if you need it.”

“I miss you hard, woman.”

“You too, manwhore. Have you learned your lesson yet? Not all men are equal, even with big cocks and great talents.”

“Yep.” I look over at the full box of toys, the discarded toy on the bed, and the silent television. “I’m now celibate.”

She snickers. “Bullshit! You might be able to pull off monogamy, but you can’t give up pleasure. Remember, I’ve seen you ass high, strapped to the kitchen table. After each you said no more men.” Her voice is grumbly at the end. I feel misrepresented.

“I don’t sound like that. Jeez, woman.”

“Nope. Your growl is way lower than that.”

I give in.

“So what do you think of this whole debacle?”

“Well, the best you can hope for is being fired. The worst would be an orange outfitted bestie named Doriscinda. Just think, loads of reach arounds, so that’s a win-win.”

Argh! “Carli,” I grumble.

“Fine, fine.” She turns serious. “Chris, if this Julia can get you out of jail without the charges sticking, and none of that lawsuit bullshit, then let her. Do as she says, stay outta sight. Be a good boy. Don’t try to rock the ship she’s steering.”

She’s right, but I’ll never admit it. I decide to switch topics. “How are the babies? Behaving?”

“You mean the one’s in my body, not the two Crown men, right?”

“Yeah, the babies, not the men.”

“Good, I guess. They’re looking at inducing me soon. The doctors are worried they’re getting too big for the condo they’re hiding in, so the eviction notice has been posted.”

“When?”

“This weekend. So of course, Jamieson is on high alert. It’s like he was a CIA operative in a former life. Watches around hallways when I go for a walk, clears the room first, checks under the bed and all that shit, but he’s attentive. And my sisters have been around to pester me too. Funny, I’m finding I like it, but don’t tell them that. Their heads would implode if they thought they were doing something right.”

“So I’ll get pictures in a few days then? I can’t wait to see them. Make sure you get me on the phone, no matter what.”

“I might hold out, manwhore. I’m still waiting on the boa story. I might possibly keep the info to myself for an extra day or so. That is, unless you want—”

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