Page 43 of Tied

Tyler

Like a message in a bottle, my mind was devising a plan. All week he was everywhere.

There was a message on my desk from a Chris, an introduction to a Chris, a person in line at Starbucks named Chris, as if there was a scrap of paper telling me something apocalyptic or prophetic. My mind continually gave me cues that Chris was a chance I should take.

It may have been a mistake that Chris arrived at our brunch the first time, but the second time was Julia’s innate meddling. She and I talk weekly, we have for years, and over the course of me saying “No, Julia, I don’t need a man in my life,” and “No, Julia, he’s not my type,” she still invited him again anyway.

That brings us to now. Sitting at the counter, him sipping his tea and me, my espresso, the two of us seem like an old couple just talking of news, family, and life. It’s cordial, entertaining, and relaxing. It’s been a long time since I could say that about a man in my apartment, and from the sounds of it, it’s been a long time for Chris too. Most of the men he’s involved himself with were meaningless moments. Flings.

I know I took a chance on him, but there’s something I can’t deny. Never trying means never knowing, right? If I didn’t take a step, then I’m staying static. Stagnant.

“I don’t know if you’ve had to do this with your Carli, but I’ll be eating crow when I see Julia.”

As I lean on the counter, reaching for a few almonds that I keep in a bowl on the counter, Chris asks why. “And pray tell, why would you be eating crow?”

Staring across at the beautiful face of the first man I’ve let into my apartment, I see the confusion course through his features. He’s scared of the answer I’ll give. I smile, trying to save him. “Because Julia hooked this up. The woman is uber sneaky. I’m not sure if you noticed it or not.” I toss a few almonds into my mouth. “And she’s incorrigible when she finds out she’s right.”

“Well, we don’t want that. Might as well move out of state now.”

“You have no idea.”

“I hear Canada is nice this time of year. Do you think she’d chase us up there for an ‘I told you so?’”

“She’d blast it like a boom box from under my window if given the chance. I wouldn’t put it past her to hire a jet, a kayak, or a steamship if it meant she could do it face-to-face.”

Chris tosses his head back in a complete show of happiness. It’s intoxicating. I can’t deny it anymore, and I blurt out, “You really are beautiful.”

I’m entranced by the light in his eyes as his surprise turns to shyness. “Nah. I’m big. I’m a mess. I’m far from beautiful,” Chris states with his eyes turned toward the counter.

“You can’t tell me you don’t see it?” Setting my drink down, walking around to the other side where he sits naked on one of the barstools, I tell him, “Your eyes are mesmerizing. Since our very first meeting, I’ve wanted to pull your full lips between my teeth until you growl. And when you smile, it reaches every inch of your face. You are beyond beautiful, Chris.”

“I have a hard time believing you.”

I stroke a hand down his face. “You don’t believe what I see is true?”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I see a scarred man. A man who’s made countless mistakes. Mistakes that have continually hurt those close to me.”

“You didn’t disappoint me. Otherwise, do you think you’d be here?” Turning his face up to look me straight on, I ask, “Would I have you here?”

Pursing those fabulous lips and squinting his eyes, I see him considering the comment’s validity. So I step it up. Moving my hand to his upper chest, sliding it down slowly, his breathing slows to longer breaths and shorter intakes. “Would I have you here with me, Chris?”

Moving my hand until I reach the rough hair of his waist, brushing against his taut, strong flesh, I gently grasp it. I haven’t taken my eyes from his, only allowing my hand to venture as it wishes. I happen to think that moments like this are like a tiger with its prey—if you look away, it will run. Chris is the prey, in a way. Not everyone believes they are beautiful, and for that, I think a lot of those who are insecure present themselves in other ways. They look for love in all the wrong ways. Acceptance and allowance for their differences as they see them. It leads them down a path of promiscuity. I’ve always had acceptance so I sympathize with what he’s gone through.

“Chris, you’re beautiful,” I tell him again, unable to look away.

Like a movie, when the slow song starts and the broken soul finally sees their worth, Chris accepts the care I’m showing him. He accepts I see him in a different light. Not as a broken man, unsure of his future, his job, his life, and without worry for what others think of him, but as someone who sees him as precious. I’m not a sap, but I fall hard. That’s why I’ve avoided others for so long because I feel deeply.

I fell hard when Maddy crushed my confidence in love. I failed when my own heart didn’t protect me. I’ve told Chris about Maddy and what he did while we’ve sat here. I thought he was my everything, and I thought I was his. He thought I was a means to an end. He only wanted a larger bank account. He’d used me.

I feel it in my gut that Chris is different.

Turning slightly on the stool, Chris rises to his full height. I’ve never been one for men taller or shorter, so Chris’ matching height is perfect. As he stands before me, and as I hold his cock tightly, I have a driving need to take him into my mouth again.

Turning him around so that my backside is close to the stool, I grin deviously. “I have a wicked thought. Want to try something?”

“Okay…”

Releasing his cock, he groans as the cool air hits the warmed skin where my hand rested. Pushing the drinks to the sink, and moving the almond bowl to the other side, I kneel on the chair to hop up onto the counter. It’s my house so I know it’s clean.

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