Page 47 of What About Now

I stay awake, holding her, running my fingers through her hair, talking my cock down, but I wouldn’t change it. We’re making strides toward our future. She’s taking pieces of me she doesn’t know are hers, but that’s okay. One day soon, I’ll be able to tell her how she has all of me, in all the ways that matter.

CHAPTER

ELEVEN

Brogan

“How are things?” Susan, my therapist, asks me. We’re sitting in matching chairs in her office.

“They’re going.” I smile, because I can’t help myself.

“That’s new.” Susan points to my face.

“Yeah,” I agree. I’m way past trying to hide things from this woman. Besides, hiding doesn’t help me get over the past and look toward the future.

“How’s married life?”

“It’s… not at all what I anticipated, and more than I ever dreamed.” I’m aware that I’m gushing over my husband, but I can’t seem to help myself.

“You’re what? Ten weeks into your agreed time frame?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“The timeline?”

“Yes.”

“I feel like six months isn’t enough time.”

“Enough time for what, Brogan?”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I know what she’s doing, and it’s annoying as much as it’s helpful. “Not enough time with him,” I whisper.

“You want more time with him?”

“Yeah.” I sigh.

“Have you told him that?”

“No. I don’t plan to tell him either.” I can’t tell him that I cherish every minute I spend with him.

“Tell me why.”

“What if he changes his mind?” That’s what scares me the most. I didn’t know my mother, but I felt the loss of her my entire life. Losing my dad gutted me, but I didn’t really have time to grieve, because I was helping my sister raise two tiny baby girls on her own. That’s something that Susan has helped me understand, Briar too. We didn’t get to grieve our father. However, Forrest, he helped Briar leap over her worries of losing him, but I’m still stuck in my head.

I care about Maddox. He holds a piece of me. No man before him ever has, and to have him walk away, or worse, lose him, I wouldn’t survive that. I feel that deep in my soul. It’s been a little over two months being married to him, and he’s the best part of my day.

Every day.

“Brogan, do you really think he’s going to change his mind? From everything you’ve told me, Maddox adores you.”

“I don’t know. That’s what my head tells me.”

“What does your heart tell you?”

The silence rings between us. Closing my eyes, I really think about her words. I think about our time together. I think about how patient he’s been with me, and how he looks at me, like I’m his, like I light up his life. I think about how I want to fall into that look, into that feeling that I’m the only person in his world who matters. I’m just so afraid he’s going to get fed up with myinsecurities and my fear of losing someone else I love. Because even if I don’t say the words out loud, I can admit to myself that I’m falling hard for him.

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