Page 37 of What About Now

My heart tells me yes, and I want so badly to believe it.

“Maddox, stop hogging her. Brogan, tell me about you,” Cassie says.

“Well, I’m a twin.”

“A twin. Hank, did you hear that? Maybe we’ll have twin grandbabies,” she says, smiling widely.

I can’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. I feel my body relax. Maddox’s hands move back to my shoulders, and his touch is the comfort I need, or maybe it’s just him. Shaking out of my thoughts, I reply, “My twin sister, Briar, has twin four-year-old daughters.”

“Oh, that’s right. She married our Forrest.”

“She did.” I smile.

“He’s smitten, from what I hear,” Cassie replies.

“He definitely is. Those three ladies have him wrapped around their fingers,” Maddox tells her.

“They really do.” I smile, thinking about how happy Forrest has made my sister and my nieces.

“Wouldn’t that be great? Three sets of twins in the family?” Cassie asks Hank.

“Sure would,” he replies, smiling at her as if his entire universe revolves around her.

“You have other twins in the family? Maddox hadn’t mentioned that.”

“You and Briar, and your nieces, that’s two. If you and Maddox have twins, that would be three.”

“Y-You’re counting us?” I ask in disbelief.

“Of course we are. You’re family. And Forrest has been one of our extra sons since the boys were little. We’d include his wife and daughters regardless, but they’re also your sister and nieces, so that’s just an added bonus.”

I swallow hard. I don’t know what to say to that. My heart feels heavy, not because of her words or simple acceptance, but because I’m missing my parents. My mom, I don’t remember her, but my dad used to talk about her all the time. My dad would have loved Forrest and Maddox both, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he would also include them, all of them, as members of our family.

“Thank you,” I whisper. I feel Maddox’s arms come around me in a tight hug.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I know I’m a lot, just ask Hank,” Cassie says softly. “I just want you to know this is your family now, all of you.”

I nod and clear my throat.

“You want to go?” Maddox asks. His voice is soft, just for me.

I shake my head. “Dinner smells delicious,” I say, trying to move past my sadness of missing my parents.

“Thank you. It’s ready. Everyone make a plate, and we’ll eat in the dining room.”

It’s a flurry of activity while we make our plates, gather drinks, and head to the dining room. Dinner is delicious, and the company is perfect. I was so nervous to be here tonight, but just like their son, Cassie and Hank Lanigan make me feel as if I’ve always been a part of their world.

I stare at the pictures on the walls, and I want more than anything to be included in this family’s history. Maybe, just maybe, babies of my own, and I wouldn’t be mad if it was the third set of twins as Cassie said. It’s all too much, too overwhelming, and it scares the hell out of me, the more I want for it to be my future.

“We need to have a girls’ day,” Cassie says as we put on our coats to head home.

“I’d really love that.”

“Your sister should come too.” I can see it in her eyes what she’s not saying. Over dinner, I shared that both of my parents have passed, and Cassie wants to be there for us. That’s just the person she is, and I’m grateful for her easy acceptance.

There’s a small part of me that worries that getting closer to them could cause more heartache if this thing between Maddox and me doesn’t work out. I know I’m not supposed to think that way, but it’s hard not to worry. That’s just who I am. Life has taught me that nothing ever stays the same.

“I’m sure she would be thrilled to go,” I tell her honestly. “Thank you for dinner.”

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