Page 38 of What About Now

“Any time. You two be safe.” Cassie pulls me into a hug, then does the same with Maddox before stepping back and letting Hank have his turn.

Maddox laces his fingers with mine and we leave their home the same way we entered. Tethered together. Maddox opens my door for me and waits for me to settle before closing the door behind me. When he slides into his seat behind the wheel, he reaches over and takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips.

“How was it?”

“Perfect. They’re incredible, Maddox.”

“They loved you. I think my mom is ready to trade me in for you.” He laughs.

“Never.” I giggle. I feel… lighter somehow. I needed tonight and didn’t even realize it. Somehow, I think my husband did. He seems to always know what I need. He knew his parents would welcome me. It was my fear that was eating at me, but it was unwarranted. His parents are amazing.

“I love that.” He’s got this dopey smile on his face, and it makes me want to know every single thing about him. It makes me want to kiss him, but I stay in my seat, on my side of the truck.

“What?” I ask.

“The sound of your laugh.” Another kiss to the back of my hand, and he places our joined hands on his thigh as he backs out of the driveway.

“I’m sorry about your mom. Your dad too,” he adds.

“Thank you. I don’t remember my mom, but my dad talked about her all the time. He made sure she was a part of our lives.” I don’t have any memories of my mother that are my own. My dad made sure he talked about her often, so even though I don’t remember her, I feel like I know her. I feel her loss, and my love for her—this person who helped create me and my sister that I don’t remember—is so strong that I still miss her, miss them both every single day.

“He sounds like a great man.”

“He was.” I turn and stare out the window. “He would have loved you and Forrest both.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “He would have given you both a hard time, but he would have loved you.” I pause and decide to just say what I’m thinking. I make a mental note to tell Susan. She’s going to be so proud. “You’re a lot like him. Kind, caring, gentle—all the things that made him a great man.” My voice cracks because I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I’m feeling it more since Briar and the girls moved out. The last month with Maddox has filled the lonely nights, but the sadness of our father not meeting the men in our lives is soul-crushing at times.

I can’t help but wonder for the first time what my dad would think about the situation I’ve found myself in. I don’t have to think long. His first question would have been if he treats me well. The answer of course is a resounding yes, and the second, would have been if I’m happy. A month ago, I might not have been able to answer that one, but tonight, I can confidently say yes, and that scares the hell out of me for what’s yet to come.

Maddox pulls the truck over to the side of the road. We’re halfway home, but there are nothing but houses on this road, and as far as I know, it’s none of the guys’. “What are we doing?” I ask him.

He puts the truck in Park and opens his door. My eyes follow him as he stalks around the front of the truck, the headlights lighting his way. He pulls open my door and stares at me for a few seconds.

“It’s cold as hell out here, so I’m going to need you to lift up and make room.” He taps my thigh, but I’m still trying to process what he wants.

“What?” I choke out. “What are you doing?” I question him.

“I need to hold you, Brogan. I just need to, so lift that perfect ass up and make room for me. It’s cold out here, and I don’t want you to freeze because I’m needy.”

With my heart in my throat, I do as he asks, unbuckle my seat belt, and stand as best as I can. He slides in, pulling me onto his lap, before closing the door. He wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck. “I wish I could have met him. Both of them. I could show him what you mean to me. I’d like to think that he could see it, but I’d tell him that his daughter changed my life and that his daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. You, Brogan, my dear wife, are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” His voice is raspy with emotion, and his words, they wrap themselves around my heart.

I can’t explain it, but this moment feels right. I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be—cradled in the comfort of his arms. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from crying. All I can do is relax into him and place my hands over his where they are banded around my waist. There is so much I want to say. That if my dad were here, he’d tell me to turn my busy brain off and follow my heart. I want to tell him that every day he captures another piece of me that I was never going to allow someone else to take, but this man, with his strong determination and his kind heart, is collecting pieces one day at a time.

I don’t know how long we sit here on the side of the road, in front of a random house, but I know that once again, my husband knew what I needed. I needed to feel his arms around me. I needed his hot breath against my skin. I just needed him, and to my surprise, it’s not as scary as it was a month ago.

“I need to get you home.” He places his lips against my neck. It’s a tender press of his lips and sends shivers down my spine. “Are you cold, baby?”

“No.” I’m quick to answer, and my husband is a smart man. He kisses me again in the same spot, knowing the effect he has on me. I lift up, and he opens the door and slides out. Reaching in, he pulls my seat belt across me and fastens it before closing the door and jogging back to his side of the truck.

The rest of the ride home is quiet, but not uncomfortable. It’s quite the opposite. I feel seen. I feel safe and cared for. All things I’ve only received from my sister and nieces since losing our dad.

Maddox gave me that. He’s given me that every single day since we woke up in that hotel together in Vegas with rings on our fingers.

“Are we watching some TV or are we going to bed?” Maddox questions as we walk into the house.

“Can we watch TV in bed?” I ask.

“We can. Do you need anything from the kitchen?” he inquires as he takes my coat and hangs it next to his on the hook.

“I don’t think so,” I say, kicking off my shoes to leave them to drip dry on the rug by the door. Maddox does the same.

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