Page 38 of Wild Promises

The way he said "friends" felt like he was putting a barrier between us. I didn't like it. "If I messed anything up last night, I'll never forgive myself." Tears stung my eyes.

Xander sighed and turned so that his legs were bracing mine on the stool. He took my hand in both of his. "We'll always be friends. You don't have to worry about that."

"You've been distant the last few years. I don't want to go back to that." It hurt not to be this close to him. Not to even text or call each other.

"You're here now, and I'm happy you're home."

"I am too."

He let go of my hand. "Then we have nothing to worry about."

I wanted to know if it was normal for him to have women ask him to service them, but I had a feeling it would piss him off. Ididn't want to upset him. But I was dying to know if last night was a usual occurrence for him or something special. Logically, I knew it hadn't meant anything. He saw a woman in distress and took care of her. It was who Xander was. Despite whatever his brothers thought of him, I knew I could count on him to be there for me.

We were going to live in the same town. We'd always have each other. And I couldn't do anything to screw things up.

Every time I thought of last night, a warmth spread through my body, and there was an ache in my core that wasn't there before. I wanted more. I didn't remember his mouth on mine. Just on my nipples. I wanted his mouth on my pussy. How was I going to survive living with him?

This roommate situation was torture. No more drinking. That was the only way I could be in control of what was going on. Otherwise, I'd reveal everything, how much I liked him, much more than friends.

Had I admitted my feelings for him last night, and he fingered me because he felt sorry for me? The thought was mortifying, too much to even consider. "I didn't say anything, did I?"

Xander pushed his plate aside and sipped his coffee. "You asked me to make you feel good. There wasn't much talking after that."

My face heated even more. I could only assume I'd lost all sense of decorum since I was inebriated. I was probably moaning and begging him for more. How embarrassing. He must think I was ridiculous.

"Just to be clear, I don't have any regrets about last night. You asked me to make you feel good, and I delivered. Or at least, I hope I did."

I nodded. "I remember feeling good." And wanted to feel more of that right now. But I couldn't ask my best friendfor benefits, could I? My heart raced as I considered the possibilities. "I'm sure it helped with our plan to look like a couple in public. We'll be more comfortable with each other."

Xander's lips twitched. "If that makes you feel better about it."

"Did we do anything else? Did I return the favor?" I racked my brain but couldn't remember any more details.

Xander shook his head. "You wanted to, but I didn't want to take advantage of you when you'd been drinking."

"Do you think that we could do it again sometime? Maybe I could return the favor?"

"I don't expect that." Xander turned to face me again, his jaw tight.

I shook my head. "That's not what I'm saying. I just— It felt good. What if we added benefits to our little arrangement?"

Xander frowned. "You're not worried about our friendship?"

"We're eating breakfast together this morning just fine. You said it didn't change anything." Was he not telling me the truth? Had I messed things up irreparably?

"It didn't. But are you sure?"

"If you don't want me—" That was something I hadn't considered before I'd made my ridiculous proposition.

Xander's eyes flashed with heat. "I want you. I think that was clear last night."

I wished I could remember if I touched him. If he was hard. But I drew a blank whenever I tried to recall our conversation or anything that happened outside of the tub. I only remembered his fingers moving inside me and his mouth on my nipples. Just the thought had me squirming on the stool.

Xander raised a brow. "You want more now, don't you?"

"Can we do this and not make it weird?" I hadn't been intimate with Hugh in a long time. Looking back, that should have been my sign he was getting it elsewhere. But I assumedwe were both tired, and neither one of us had the energy for the physical side of the relationship. Obviously, I was wrong.

Xander nodded tightly. "I think so."

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