Page 61 of Warrior's Cross

Cameron’s sight blurred as he stared at the tablecloth, trying to keep himself under control. “Why would you think that?” he asked softly.

“It was just a feeling he gave off,” Miri murmured after a moment of thought. “Like he was... capable.”

Cameron glanced over his shoulder at her. “I can’t think of him that way,” he answered.

Miri sighed. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

Tilting his head, he turned and stepped to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I will,” he assured her with a small smile, while inwardly all the lingering worry and sudden upset mixed with the little bit of blossoming anger threatened to make him ill.

It was after two in the morning before Cameron finally left the restaurant, having overseen the entire clean-up and prep for the next day. All who worked the party had Saturday off with pay as a thank-you for a job well done. Cameron had an extra day, just because.

Despite his argument, Blake had insisted.

And for the first time, he found himself relieved that Julian wouldn’t be with him.

It was Saturday morning now, past Julian’s scheduled Friday visit, and Cameron would have the whole day as well as Sunday and Monday to himself to rest and think before going back to work on Tuesday, although he really didn’t want to think atall. He knew he’d been lying to himself all this time, but he’d ignored it, hoping he’d give Julian no reason to change his mind about loving him. He would tell Cameron what he needed to know, wouldn’t he? What bothered Cameron most was that he still knew next to nothing about Julian, even after four months of being lovers.

It all ate at him, making him tired and depressed. And right now, Cameron was forcing himself to ignore the fact that he wanted nothing more than to be in Julian’s arms.

Cameron walked distractedly down the deserted sidewalk. He stopped briefly at the street corner, glancing each way before hurrying across the road and heading down the sidewalk toward his building, still stuck in confused, swirling thoughts, pretty much oblivious to everything around him. A couple blocks later, keycard in hand, Cameron stopped to open the door.

A hulking shadow stepped away from the building on the other side of the street and cleared his throat. Cameron’s chin snapped around to look in the direction of the noise as he jumped in alarm. He didn’t relax when he saw it was Julian.

“Are you okay?” Julian asked him without crossing the street. His voice carried in the cold night.

Cameron nodded slowly as he watched Julian, all of his worries echoing in his head as he found himself unable to relax. In the dark, lit only by a few harsh streetlights, Juliandidlook dangerous. Cameron realized now that he just hadn’t let himself see it. “Tired,” he finally answered hoarsely.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you warning,” Julian told him as he stepped into the street. “I didn’t know I was needed at the party until tonight.”

Cameron nodded again, at war with himself. He believed in Julian, but his own insecurities ate at him. It made him mad that he wasn’t brave enough to ask the questions he wanted answered so he could feel better about their relationship. AndMiri’s questions invested him with enough tension that he hesitated, unable to think of anything to say in response to Julian’s apology.

Julian must have been able to see the tension in him, because he stopped in the middle of the street, looking at Cameron with a blank expression. “May I come by tomorrow?” he asked, oddly polite. The air in front of him frosted over as he spoke.

Unable to read Julian’s face or his tone, Cameron hesitated. He’d hoped to have more time to think things over and come to terms with what bothered him. “Tomorrow meaning later today or actually tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Julian answered as a siren began to blare in the distance.

The sound startled Cameron, and he glanced toward where it was coming from. Julian didn’t bother to turn his head, now standing in the middle of the street and waiting for his answer.

Cameron looked back at him. “I thought Sundays weren’t available?” he asked uncertainly.

“I’m off this weekend,” Julian told him flatly.

Cameron stared at him and nodded, the yearning to be with him almost outweighing what he hoped was merely irrational fear. “Okay,” he agreed softly, knowing that if Julian had requested to come upstairs now, he would have agreed.

Julian nodded and smiled slightly. “Sleep well, Cameron,” he said in a louder voice as the siren got closer. The fire truck appeared around the corner several blocks away and blared its horn. Julian glanced at it and began slowly backing out of the road. The fire engine roared down the street and by them, its sirens deafening as the lights spun.

Cameron watched it as it sped past. When it turned the next corner and disappeared from view, the street in front of him was empty.

Left standing alone, Cameron looked up and down the street for Julian, not seeing anything moving or any sign of the man at all. It spooked him, and he turned and quickly entered the building. He didn’t breathe easily again until he was up in his apartment with the door shut and locked behind him.

Blake grumbled as he clomped down the stairs from his bedroom in his robe. It was well past midnight, and there was only one person who would be banging on the knocker at this time of night.

“What have you done now? You’re not even working a job tonight!” he asked tiredly as he swung the door open, expecting to see Julian hanging onto Preston as he bled on the doorstep like usual.

But Julian was alone, standing up on his own, dressed casually in a pair of faded jeans and a fleece pullover. He’d shaved off his beard sometime recently, but tonight he was scruffy. Somehow, the bastard still managed to look high-class.

The look in his eyes, however, spoke of utter defeat.

---