Page 55 of Warrior's Cross

Leaving the coat, Cameron looked Julian up and down, and Julian knew he was looking for any telltale signs of injuries. When he didn’t find any, he visibly screwed up his courage and said, “If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

Julian was silent, frowning heavily. Finally, he gave a slight shake of his head. Cameron didn’t need to hear about any of the things that bothered him. He didn’t need to hear about how even Julian suffered from a guilty conscience occasionally. He didn’t need to hear about how handlers and assets were turning up dead left and right in other major cities. He didn’t need to hear that word was getting around that someone who knew the way the game was played had suddenly changed the rules. Hedidn’t need to hear about how it might very well be every man for himself soon enough.

“Bed sounds wonderful,” Julian said instead.

“C’mon,” Cameron said softly, taking Julian’s hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

Julian was tired, more so than usual after an out-of-town job. The job was hard enough when things went to plan. When they didn’t, innocent people got hurt, assets got exposed, things caught fire and occasionally blew up... It got messy. Julian wanted nothing more than to sink into bed next to Cameron and forget it all for a while.

“Did you tell your friend?” he asked softly as he dragged behind Cameron obediently.

Cameron looked over his shoulder as they passed the dividers.

“Yeah,” he answered. “A little bit, anyway.”

“How’d that go?” Julian asked wryly.

“Not so well,” Cameron admitted with a wince. “I wouldn’t tell her near what she wanted to know.” He stopped at the foot of the bed and started undoing Julian’s tie.

Julian placed his hands on Cameron’s hips and watched him ardently as Cameron fussed with his tie. If he had his choice, he’d never look away. “I’m sorry,” he finally whispered.

Pulling the tie free of Julian’s collar, Cameron started on the buttons of his shirt without saying anything. He glanced up at Julian and bit his lip. “You’re more important to me.”

Julian didn’t respond as he watched Cameron undress him. He wasn’t really sure what kind of declaration would pour out of him if he opened his mouth.

Cameron finished with his shirt buttons and took up one hand to unfasten Julian’s cuff. “She’d pretty much guessed it was you,” he said.

“It?” Julian asked with a raised eyebrow as he waited for Cameron to continue.

Cameron smiled. “What’s been making me so happy.”

Julian blinked at him in surprise and then smiled weakly. Happy. If only for a little while, anyway.

Cameron raised an eyebrow. “What? It’s true.”

“Good,” Julian murmured.

Cameron’s brighter smile and gleaming eyes transformed him, putting some more color in his pale cheeks, and he pressed himself as close as he could get to Julian, curling one arm around his neck, the other around his waist. It had taken Julian a little time to get used to the random and sudden hugs Cameron liked to steal, but he had grown to enjoy them quite a bit.

He slid his arms around Cameron and held him close, resting his chin on Cameron’s head again. “Some nights,” he said, “all I can think about is being here and holding you.”

“Nights you’re not with me,” Cameron whispered. “Too many nights,” he added sadly.

“Yes,” Julian breathed, regret tightening his chest. “I’m sorry.” He hated saying those words; he seemed to say them to Cameron all the time. But he couldn’t risk being here more than he already was. It might already be too much. Having a routine was a dangerous thing.

Tuesdays at the restaurant were already a dangerous game he played.

Soon enough, someone would uncover where to find him on Fridays as well. But to do it any differently would be to risk his carefully constructed house of cards to chaos.

Cameron pulled back enough to kiss him longingly as he pulled Julian’s shirt from his waistband. There was no point in saying anything else, and they both knew it. Julian was theonly one who could change the way things were, and he wasn’t willing to do that.

Yet.

He reached for Cameron’s hands as they brushed along his back and stilled them gently. “I have... I have a slight injury,” he admitted softly.

“Injury?” Cameron asked worriedly, pulling his hands away.

“Just a pulled muscle, I think,” Julian told him. “My back. Missed a step in the dark,” he admitted with a slight blush. It had been a really long step, actually, with a very sudden stop. But Cameron didn’t need to know that either. “As long as you’re careful.”

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