Page 108 of Warrior's Cross

“That’s true, yes,” Julian affirmed, his normally impassive face displaying a hint of pain at Cameron’s words.

Cameron’s fingers dug into his own arms. “So, what now? Why are you here? Would you have ever come back?” he asked painfully. “If he hadn’t shown himself? Would you ever have come back to me?”

Julian was silent as he turned his head and studied Cameron. “Last I heard, you wanted me gone,” he finally reminded softly. “It wasn’t my right, to show up here and beg you to take me back.”

Cameron blinked at him stupidly.

“But now?” Julian continued calmly. “I don’t care if I have the right or not. I was hoping that after the anger had passed, you might want me to stick around.”

Cameron exhaled shakily, and he raised both hands to rub at his face before dropping them again to return Julian’s even gaze. “And how long do you think that will take? For the anger to pass? Because I’ll tell you right now I have no idea how to deal with this.”

Julian shrugged uncomfortably. “I suppose it will take a while,” he nearly mumbled.

Letting out a strangled sound of frustration, Cameron turned and clenched his fists. “It’s not going to be easy,” he said hoarsely.

“Not if you’re angry,” Julian agreed. “Not if you can’t forgive me.”

“I fell apart when you were gone, and it took all this time to put myself back together,” Cameron said, voice choking on pent-up anger and pain. “And now... Julian, Christ.” He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head, fighting for control.

Julian was silent. They both knew how hollow the words “I’m sorry” could sound. Cameron was sorely tempted to tell him to leave just to get this source of pain out of his life. But he knew if he refused Julian today, he would never see the man again, and that idea hurt even more.

Cameron managed to hold it together and opened his eyes to look at Julian as he edged away. It broke his heart all over again, to see that look on Julian’s face. “Please,” he croaked. “Don’t leave. Not again.”

“I never left,” Julian insisted quietly with a shake of his head.

Cameron studied Julian for a long moment as his heartbeat thumped in his throat. Then he nodded slowly. Trying to regain some measure of composure, Cameron glanced to the kitchen.“I need a drink. You want a drink? I’m getting a drink.” He walked off to the kitchen without waiting for a response.

“Good,” Julian muttered. “Drink mine too, will you? I remember you being easier to deal with when you’re drunk.”

Letting out a short bark of laughter, Cameron stepped to the refrigerator and pulled out his last bottle of wine. “It takes more than it used to,” he told Julian ruefully, setting down the bottle and snagging two glasses from the cabinet.

Julian remained silent as he watched.

Cameron poured the two glasses and set the bottle aside, pushing one glass toward the other side of the bar before taking a long sip of his own and holding the chilled glass to his forehead as he closed his eyes.

This roller-coaster ride of emotions was exhausting, and he wanted to get off before he fell apart again.

“What’s with the accent?” he asked abruptly.

Julian blinked at him, nonplussed. “What, you don’t like it?” he asked defensively.

Cameron frowned slightly. “Actually, I do. A lot. I just want to know where it came from. And if it’s really yours.”

Julian blushed heavily and cleared his throat. “It’s mine. I was born in Dublin,” he answered uncomfortably.

“Dublin, Kansas,” Cameron stated with the slightest touch of bitter humor in his voice.

Julian shrugged guiltily. “It’s close,” he mumbled.

Cameron’s lips twitched. “Uh-huh.” He shook his head. “What about the other things you told me that night?”

Julian shifted uneasily. “I lied to you,” he admitted. “I lied about a lot of things. But never because I wanted to or wanted to hurt you.”

“What should I believe now?” Cameron asked pointedly. Then, surprisingly, a slight laugh broke free. “Because, youknow, you tell me something using that damn accent, and I might just be putty in your hands.”

Julian blinked at him in surprise. “I missed you,” he answered softly as he watched Cameron raptly.

“I should hope so,” Cameron said, eyebrows raised in expectation of more information forthcoming.

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