Page 106 of Warrior's Cross

Cameron inhaled deeply. He’d wondered—feared—that he was the reason for Julian’s change of heart. He pushed the thought away.

Preston glanced over at them and cleared his throat. “He loved you, Mr. Jacobs,” he stated evenly. “In his way. He loved Mr. Lancaster too.”

“I know he loved me,” Cameron said in a small voice, surprised that Preston had spoken at all. Pain lanced through him as he looked back at the bedroom doors. “But I threw it away.”

“Cam, I’ve never seen him like he is with you,” Blake said. “He’s... a totally different man. Maybe who he would have been, if life were different. Even after you broke it off, he still loved you.”

“He didn’t love me enough to let me know he was still alive,” Cameron whispered.

Preston was silent, his eyes on Cameron, who looked back at him expectantly.

“Why didn’t he try?” Cameron demanded, anger coming to the fore. After tonight, his nerves and control were shot, and he didn’t have the fortitude or the desire to hold anything back.

Preston responded to the anger by merely blinking and meeting Cameron’s eyes expressionlessly.

Cameron turned his chin sharply toward Blake. “You said he still loves me, even after what I did. Then why didn’t he tell me?”

“Cam, it’s not that simple,” Blake began.

“You’re pissed at him too! He left us thinking all this time that he wasdead!” Cameron continued, his voice rising and his face flushing as he stood up and started pacing.

“I know, but, Cam—”

“No. No buts, Blake. One phone call. One e-mail. One something to let me know he was still breathing. If he forgives me, if he cares for me so much, why leave me to suffer all this time?” Cameron spit out, trembling as his emotions got the better of him.

“That, I don’t know, sir,” Preston answered calmly, as if Cameron had asked about the weather. “Mr. Cross has a reason for everything he does or doesn’t do. That doesn’t mean I always understand.”

Cameron swallowed hard and looked at Blake for an answer.

Blake met his eyes, and then he closed his own and shook his head.

Cameron turned on his heel, grabbed the jacket Preston had laid out for him, and left the apartment.

Roughly a week after his ordeal, Cameron still refused to answer the door or the telephone. He stayed in his apartment with his dogs, stewing angrily over Julian’s deception and throwing things when he thought about how many times he’d dreamed about Julian coming back to him.

It wasn’t fair, to know he was alive and yet be so angry at him.

And it was worse than that if what Blake said about Julian still loving him was true.

Cameron was sitting on his couch, staring out the window blearily when the buzzer rang. He didn’t move, letting it ring again. It continued to ring demandingly until Cameron turned his head slowly to glare at it.

Finally, he got up and dragged across the hardwood floor in his bare feet to punch at the button.

“What?” he snapped. Last time it had been Miri, trying to deliver a care package from the restaurant.

“Let me in, Cameron,” Julian’s soft voice demanded in a no-nonsense tone.

Cameron pushed the button without even thinking about it, and then he shook his head in exasperation at how automatic it was to just do as Julian said. Knowing he was coming, Cameron unlocked the door and moved away, sighing as he headed back for the couch. He was beginning to tremble as he sat and wrapped himself up in a throw blanket.

Why was Julian here?

When the knob turned, Cameron caught his breath. He could only stare and try not to shake as Julian stepped into the apartment. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on one of the hooks beside the door, and he cocked his head and looked at Cameron, not coming further into the apartment. Cameron was surprised to see that he was wearing his sling. He must have been in a lot of pain to deal with the cumbersome thing, and he still moved slowly as if he hurt all over.

Cameron stared at him, unable to think of a single, solitary thing to say.

“Hello, Cameron,” Julian murmured softly, the Irish accent still seeming unusual and foreign out of his mouth.

Cameron blinked and opened his mouth to say something, but just as quickly closed it and shook his head. He swallowed with difficulty, allowing himself to look at his erstwhile lover. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a plain blue T-shirt. Cameron had never seen him in anything but an expensive suit or... nothing at all. It was disconcerting.

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