Page 65 of Warrior's Cross

“Julian?” Cameron pushed. “If you knew... then why? Why would you do that?”

“I was selfish,” Julian answered calmly. He looked back up and met Cameron’s eyes again. “And perhaps overconfident. I wanted you. I thought I could protect you.”

Cameron swallowed hard as he tried to order his thoughts. “I didn’t want to ask for more explanations,” he said. “I knew... you didn’t want to tell me. And I didn’t want you to leave.”

The words made Julian flinch slightly, and he gave an offended grunt. “I wouldn’t leave you for asking questions,” he said in a horrified voice as he focused on Cameron’s face.

Cameron felt very small as they stood opposite each other. “I didn’t want to risk it. You seemed so sure about walking away that night in the hospital, remember?”

Julian winced again and looked away, seemingly oblivious of the tiny dogs struggling to climb up his legs. He looked back at Cameron and shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he repeated regretfully. “I’d hoped that I could shield you from my life. That you understood the implications of being involved with me, what the consequences might be. I thought I could protect you. I made a mistake.”

They stood silent for long moments before Cameron spoke. “Do I need protecting?”

“Not now,” Julian answered confidently. “Not yet. That’s why I had to behave as if I didn’t know you, to keep it that way.”

Cameron’s fingers reached up to his own throat, to finger the chain of the necklace hanging there, just under his shirt collar. The warrior’s cross, meant to protect the wearer. Julian sounded certain about what he was saying, and it eased Cameron’s fears a little. “So you were protecting me,” he said slowly.

Julian’s eyes drifted down to the necklace, and then he looked back up and met Cameron’s eyes silently, not answering.

Cameron studied him as he slowly calmed down. “There’s so much I don’t know about you,” he pointed out almost accusingly.

Julian pressed his lips together, and he nodded again. “I’ll tell you almost anything you want to know,” he offered resignedly. “But you’ve got to be aware of the danger in knowing.”

“Danger? There’s always danger, Julian,” Cameron responded, his voice sad and resigned. “Even if you’re a normal, unremarkable waiter like me. You can be mugged at gunpoint. You can catch pneumonia and die. You can be hit by a bus on your way to buy groceries. Lately, I’ve thought the worst danger would be having my heart broken.”

Julian was silent for a moment. “Ouch,” he finally observed in a hurt voice.

Cameron rubbed his eyes and abruptly turned and walked toward the kitchen, where he pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses, setting them apart from each other. He braced his hands on the bar for a long moment before he opened the bottle with jerky movements and filled the glasses.

“Cameron,” Julian murmured worriedly as he followed hesitantly.

The glass tipped back for a small swallow, and Cameron’s gaze returned to Julian. He had to ask. He had to know. “Do you love me, Julian?”

Julian’s eyes flickered as he watched Cameron. “Yes,” he said with certainty.

Cameron’s eyes didn’t move. “Are you going to leave me because loving me is dangerous?”

Julian blinked rapidly and visibly fought the urge to shuffle his feet. “No,” he answered. “Not unless you ask me to,” he amended softly.

Cameron watched him speculatively before he set down his glass and gestured to the other one. “Then take off your coat and have some wine.”

Julian watched him carefully and then slowly began to move. He shrugged out of his coat, draped it over the back of a chair, and walked to the kitchen to look at Cameron across the bar. “I don’t really need anything to drink tonight,” he said with a wince.

“Had a bad night, did you?” Cameron asked in a hard voice.

Julian raised his head and met Cameron’s eyes, not answering with words or his expression.

Cameron snorted at him. “Why’d you shave?” he asked with a wave of the bottle as he started to refill his own glass.

Julian licked his lips thoughtfully and then looked down at the counter. “Just time for a change,” he answered softly. “Do you want me to grow it back?” he asked as he looked back up.

Cameron tipped his head to one side, focusing on the man across from him. “I’ll think about it,” he said. “What’s your favorite color?”

“You,” Julian answered immediately.

Cameron’s brows jerked up. “What?”

Julian smiled and lowered his head. “Green,” he answered seriously.

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