Page 19 of Look how well You take this C*ck

And the man I love looking at me like I’m a broken China doll.

Closing my eyes, I allow my mind to drift until I don’t hear anything at all, and I succumb to the loss of consciousness so I don’t have to deal with the world shattering around me.

No, no, no, not again.

Waking up with a fuzzy mind, I’m bogged down and feeling heavy yet weightless. I know this all too well. It’s been a reoccurring nightmare for years now, and just like the many other times, I wish I wouldn’t have awoken.

Sitting up in bed, I shove the covers off as my body aches with new trauma. I can feel the lashes on my back. The new open wounds that will leave me with more scars.

I hear him downstairs, clattering around in the kitchen. Likely making breakfast in an effort to apologize for hurting me last night. It’s not enough. It hasn’t been for a long time, but it’s the only way to keep the peace so there are more extended periods in between the abuse.

After getting dressed, I quietly make my way to the kitchen. Sliding onto a chair at the two-seater table, I wait for him to speak first. It has to go his way. His words. His excuses. His false narrative about how I did something wrong once again. My disobedience this time? Failing to remind him I would be studying at the library last night.

“Good morning, Ellie. Did you sleep well?” He glances over his shoulder to spear me with his cold eyes.

“Yes. Did you?” We’re just going in circles. It’s the same cycle every time he loses his temper, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

“Very. There’s something refreshing about a quiet night that leaves me sedate.”

Quiet? My whimpering was quiet? I wanted to scream and cry and beg him to stop, but the past has taught me it’ll only make it worse.

“Do you need help?” I offer, my skin crawling with the idea of being so close to him.

“Nah, almost finished,” he replies, sounding distracted. “I’ll be out of town for a couple of days. I’d like it if you just went to school and came home.”

“There’s a basketball game on Wednesday I’m supposed to keep score for.” My voice trembles, and I want to shrink when he spears me with a glare. “I’ll get someone else to do it,” I rush to say.

He sighs. “No, you made a commitment; it’s important to honor those. Home straight after.”

“Of course.” The rest of the morning passes in silence as we eat and then head out for our separate days.

By the time lunch approaches, my back is on fire, and no less than four teachers have asked me if I’m alright.

I could have spoken up then.

Saved myself months of pain.

Saved a few women.

Met Lars sooner.

CHAPTER 13

Lars

Fear turned my blood to ice when Ellie passed out, the horror and humiliation palpable in the stressed lines of her face. Damon remains outside my bedroom door, doing damage control with his classmates and cursing out Carly’s name every few minutes, ensuring she gets a different kind of justice, as I try to wake Ellie.

I’d stripped off her shoes and pants before laying her on the bed, and after placing a cool cloth on her forehead, she whimpered a few times. She’s not in a good place mentally; it’s the reason I keep trying to wake her up.

I look down at Ellie after hearing a long, drawn-out exhale. She warily blinks, opens her eyes, and then stares up at the ceiling. “I was going to tell you,” she finally says, her voice small and childlike to my ears.

“I wouldn’t have pushed,” I respond, taking her hand and holding it gently between my own, offering silent support when all I want to do is wrap her in my arms and shield her from the rest of the world. “I still won’t.”

She nods, and the tears she tries so hard to fight spill over her cheeks.

Fuck it. Gathering her up in my arms, I hold her tight as she sobs quietly into my chest, her arms clutching me in a death grip.

“You’re safe, sweetheart. I hope you know that.” Her head bobs up and down slightly as I adjust our position so I can lean back against the headboard.

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