Page 21 of One Last Wish

My biggest fear was starting to surface: the one thing I would never admit to anyone. It was hard enough to admit it to myself. What if my mindwasbroken? I’dneverfelt an emotion and I’d never been connected toanyone. What if I was slowly going insane?

Inmymind, my handshadglowed, but that was impossible because things like that only existed in books. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to open those books and climb inside them. To let them shelter me from this cruel world. It was never going to happen. I had to accept the fact that I neededserioushelp. My mind wasn’t working properly.

“Were you planning on avoiding meallday?” Darce’s voice made me jump so I braced myself on the bookcase. His eyes widened once he took me in. “You look like shit. Are you okay?” The insults got better and better with this man.

“Thanks for reminding me,” I cringed, looking away. “I didn’t sleep very well last night. And I’m not avoiding you. I’m notthatchildish, thank you!”

“Are you sure about that?”Prick!

“I’m too tired to argue with you right now!”

“You’re sayingnoon the chance to insult me again?”

“Rain check?” I forced a grin.

Darce was thoughtful for a moment. “Do you feel at home up here?” It was such a bizarre question, but I answered it anyway.

“Around all the books? Yes. For someone like me, it’s good to have somewhere to escape to, if only for a short while.

“You dream ofescaping?”

“Not really, but I do think about not being here sometimes,” I admitted, confused at my honesty with him. Did I just admit to him that I occasionally thought about disappearing? Not that I would have ever gone through with it. When my head was that heavy, it only entered my mind because I wanted to silence it. The pain of desolation could be a hard pill to swallow at times.

“You’rethatunhappy?” Darce was thrown off balance for a few seconds. “I didn’t have you down as a quitter.”

“It’s not about that, Darce.” I moved to one of the comfortable, red reading couches and slumped down. He followed, sitting opposite me. “It’s about waking up every fucking day and not fitting in with anyone. People are rushing around me, living their lives. I feel as if I’m standing still and no one sees me. What is the point?”

“Ofliving?” he questioned. I nodded. “Alora, we all have tofight. Look at breathing. We fight for a breath every second until it becomes second nature to us. I don’t think there is a single person in this whole universe that doesn’t have some doubt about themselves. Life isn’t easy, but it’s worth fighting for. Every. Damn. Day. If you opened your eyes, you would see how many people truly care.”

“Oh, please. Can we stop talking aboutTheo.”

“I wasn’t referring to him,” he chuckled, leaning back into the sofa. “You try to push people away at Bookends, but they all like and respect you.”

“‘Like’is probably going a little far. They respect me because of my leadership skills, nothing else.”

“Do you have an answer foreverything?”

“Just when I’m around you.” I grinned, shaking my head. “Do you drive every woman crazy like this?”

“No, only you.” His tone was deep and sexual, as if it held some unspoken truth. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as his gaze moved over my body. There was a war raging in those jet black eyes of his. It took everything not to stand up and straddle his lap. By his predatory gaze, I didn’t think he’d stop me. It seemed Iwasgetting to him!

“The feeling is mutual,” I managed to force out.

“You could have a happy life if you tried. All I’m saying is that life is precious. Do the things you love, and you’ll start to understand that.”

“The only thing I really care about is books.”

“That’s prettypathetic,” he snorted, crossing his arms. I was lost for a few moments as I watched the way the muscles strained on his forearm. “Alora, it’s rude to stare.”Double fuck!“There must be other things you enjoy.”

“Music,” I huffed, unable to even look at him. If he caught me perving again, I’d never hear the end of it.

“That’s more like it. What kind of music?”

“Instrumental, mostly. Classic orchestra, too. I don’t mind modern songs if they have a good beat and lyrics when I’m drunk, though.”

“Okay, we can add drinking to your list of hobbies then.” My head snapped up and I gave him my best bitch brow. “Alora, your list is verysmall. At this point, we need to add everything you can think of.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m notinterestingenough?”

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