Page 79 of Flowerheart

When my magic had been a part of me, it had revealed in loud colors the true feelings of my heart. It had bloomed bluebells when I remembered our childhood, and lilies of the valley when I’d been joyful.

And now red tulips, symbols of true love, grew in Xavier’s hair.

The voice of my magic had always been wicked. Had told me the worst parts of myself, demeaned me, discouraged me, brought me low.

I could not trust anything that came from its lips. Only the flowers it grew spoke the truth—spoke Xavier’s true heart.

“You’re a liar,” I said, stepping closer.

Its eyes widened. It growled and pushed against the iron restraints around its wrists, but still it couldn’t move. “There is cruelty in you, Clara Lucas. You want power. You want glory. Just like your mother.”

But I’d met my mother. I’d seen how she was willing to hurt others. To hurt me. She had chosen her own way above anyone else. Even above her family.

I wasn’t like her.

“You say whatever you think will make me weak!” I spat. In my mind, I could see Papa, the light returning to his eyes as I blessed him at last. I had done that; I had wrestled my magic into submission and had saved his life. And I could do it again.

I reached out and clung to Xavier’s wrist, even thoughit burned, even though everything within me begged me to let go.

“I only say what I know. And I know you,” my magic said. “You think I hurt your father all on my own? That desire was already in you. You havehatredwithin you. For him and his foolishness. For your mother—”

“Quiet,” I said, straining against the vine until I could clasp Xavier’s other hand in mine. Both ached. Tears beaded in my eyes and my arms quaked at the pain, and I fell to my knees before the seat, looking up into the eyes of my magic.

Behind the wall of thorns, Councilmembers beat against the barrier. Wind howled; metal clanged; lightning crashed, and Xavier’s bonds shone with that horrible light. The barrier remained. My magic was capable of such destruction.

But I was stronger than this magic.

“You’re wrong about me,” I said to my magic, more certain than ever. “I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt people. But I’m not a monster. I’m good and I’m kind and I’m strong. I want to help people. And I have endured you thus far. I have tamed you before. I made portals. I healed people. I blessed Papa.”

It opened his mouth, but I cut it off, saying, “I am the one who controls you.”

My magic looked out at me through Xavier’s eyes, waiting, watching, assessing, like a snake about to strike.

One of Xavier’s books on blessings had said that to bless someone, a magician must be in complete control of their magic. And I had succeeded in this. I was its mistress.

“Magic,” I said. It leaned forwards against the bindings restraining it, its hungry eyes flashing at me. “As long as you are bound to Xavier, the Council will take you away. They’ll destroy you. Is that what you want?”

It said nothing, only writhed about, trying to escape my hold.

“I will offer you a home.” I touched one stinging palm against my breastbone. “I will accept you as you are. I will allow you to unleash your power.” At the eager smile spreading across its lips, I held up a hand. “But I make the rules. You shall harm no one. And if you do, I will go to the Council and ask them to take you away for good. Do you understand?”

It curled his lip. “You stifled me.” Tilting its head towards the rainstorm and the thorns, it said, “Look at the wonders we could perform together. If you’duseme—”

“I’m not afraid of you,” I snapped, and it leaned back, its eyes blown wide in surprise. And it was true. I’d endured the worst pain of my life; I’d nearly lost my father to my own magic. But I had conquered it.

“I will use you to perform wonders of my own,” I said. “But now you must choose. Either you exist within me, or not at all.”

A loud crash of thunder boomed over my shoulder. I turned back and saw that lightning had struck a large, targeted hole in the barrier, scorched at the edges. Already it was mending itself, but Madam Ben Ammar ducked through and stood tall, her hands crackling with electricity.

“Don’t let her destroy me,” whispered my magic. When I faced it once more, there was fear gleaming in its black eyes. “Take me back, please, take me back!” My magic unfurled Xavier’s hand, now marred by a faint pink mark on his palm from when we’d made the vow, as well as one black band around his thumb.

I looked into the eyes of the beast and fit my hand in its own. “I control you,” I said. “Now come back to me.”

My hand burned as if a thousand flames licked at my skin. Sharp little teeth pricked at my palms and my fingertips, and then, like a dam bursting, the fire swept through my arm, and landed in my heart like a burning coal.

I staggered backwards from the shock of it, my hands pressed hard against my chest. With asnap,the vine around my wrist broke. The room filled with glorious light as the clouds above vanished completely, along with the rain. The wall of thorns and roses collapsed to the floor in a great heap. The Councilmembers stood beyond, every one of them drenched. Water pooled on the white floor in large, stagnant puddles full of petals and leaves.

“Oh, Clara!” Madam Ben Ammar’s voice was hoarse and weak as she raced up to me, wrapping me in a tight embrace. “Thank goodness you’re safe.” She drew back, her hand soft against my cheek. “Did you take your magic back?”

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