Page 8 of 10,000 Hours With A Rich Menace

I chewed on the end of the paint brush, no longer in the mood to paint. I was a mood painter, and whenever I was in the mood I loved to pull a canvas out and create. It didn’t matter that I never finished a piece. With the way that this conversation was going I could feel the creativity slowly leaking out of me by the second.

“I don’t get a good vibe about her, and we promised we would be honest with each other about everything,” Skyler reminded me, as she often did.

Slumping my shoulders forward, I took a deep breath. “She’s my only friend that I have. You know how hard it is to make friends. I’m either too weird, or the girl that overshares… I just want to have a friend.”

It was easier making friends when you were a child. I bet Estella didn’t have problems finding friends to share her crayons with. When you became an adult, quality friendships were hard to come by. Every time I had a friend, it never lasted becausesomething always happened. They either used me for whatever they wanted, or I found out they were talking bad about me.

I have to admit that I was the problem, too. When you were my friend, I went above and beyond. I wanted to be there for you, and I often overplayed my part for people who didn’t deserve it. I’ve always been the different girl who everyone talked about. I was made fun of because I wore glasses, and I was always thicker than the other children in my class.

When all the girls had straight hair, here I came with my big thick curls that covered my face. I never truly fit in as a child, and I really didn’t fit in as an adult. I liked different kinds of music, and I talked to myself at times. I enjoyed peculiar things, and I didn’t take myself seriously because life was too short for that.

“You have me, Stevie.”

My mother and Skyler’s mother were both married to the Raye brothers. Both my uncle and father weren’t worth the skin they were in, and married women that were worth more than gold. Me and Stevie called it the Raye curse.

Both our mothers were gone while our ain’t shit fathers were still sucking up the air. I knew it was bad to wish death on someone, especially your father, but I wished it could have been him instead of my mother, and I knew Skyler felt the same.

“I know that… I just want my own friends, too. You’re my cousin and I know at times you put up with me because we’re family.”

“That is not true. You are one of my favorite people, Stevie. I do understand you wanting your own friends not tied to your little cousin. Please be careful with her, I don’t trust her.”

I messed with the end of the paint brush, rubbing paint onto my fingertips. “Nanny called me today.”

Skyler rolled her eyes so far into her head that I thought they would get stuck. “What the hell does she want?”

Nanny was our grandmother from our father’s side, and she was a wicked woman. It made a lot of sense why her sons were the way that they were. Since she was my grandmother, I tolerated her more than Skyler did. Skyler refused to have anything to do with her from the way she acted when her parents divorced.

“Her usual check in to make sure I spoke to my father… which I haven’t, and I tell her that every time.”

From the look on my cousin’s face, I could tell she wanted to speak about anybody but our grandmother. “I understand that you have a closer relationship because you lived in the same city as her. Stevie, you don’t have to deal with her because she’s our grandmother. The way she acted like our mothers were the poison while her boys were the prized possession is enough for me to never speak to that bitch again.”

My grandmother lived in Queens, so when I was growing up it was a quick train ride to visit her. I would spend weekends over her home when my parents had plans, or when she wanted to take me to a friend’s party.

It didn’t take away the fact that she showed me how much she hated my mother. My father could never do any wrong in her eyes. It was always my mother, and herways– whatever that meant. Meanwhile my father could never keep a job, and my mother not only had a degree, but she also had a career that took care of our home.

In my nanny’s eyes she was a witch who trapped my father and took the life that he could have had. I think we were all trying to figure out what life that was because according to my mother, my father had never been shit.

He would clean his act up for a few months and then get back to the same mess that he was accustomed to. Even having a child didn’t make that man change, so I couldn’t understand why nanny was so upset with my mother.

If anything, we needed to be upset with her for having not one, but two men that weren’t shit and were selfish.

“Has nothing to do with that. No matter how my mother felt about her, she always encouraged me to have a relationship with her. Plus, she’s becoming older and needs things. My father is never around and your father lives out the state.” I shrugged, hating how big my heart was at times.

My heart had always been big, and it was a gift and curse – mostly curse.

I could be stabbed and the person who stabbed me could trip, and while bleeding and dying, I would be worried about the person who just stabbed me tripping and hurting themselves. It was something that I needed to work on.

“The reason they have aids to help her old and bitter ass. She never has cared about our mothers or us… well, not me. Do you know she had the nerve to call me the day of my mother’s funeral and say that hopefully she’s a better person in heaven than she had been here on earth… the day of the funeral, Stevie.”

I sighed. “She didn’t bother to call or come to the funeral for mine.”

“Which makes me think you’re crazy for helping out the wicked bitch from Flushing.”

I snorted. “Stop… we talk here and there, and I bring her groceries when I can. My father isn’t around to help her, and she is our grandmother. Aren’t you supposed to accept older people for who they are?”

“Yeah and also leave them where the fuck they have you fucked up at. I refuse to ever help that woman, and I hope you see how toxic she is.”

“I hear you.”

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