Page 23 of Caveman Alien's Terror

The dragon frowns. “Because I command you.”

Yeah, at some time we have to talk about his habit of bossing me around. “I mean, why do you command me?”

“Because you’re my bait!” Praxigor beams. “Your noises will lure them here, so they’ll leave their camp unguarded. Or almost unguarded. See?”

“Good idea, Chief,” Tarat’ex exclaims in his smarmy way. “Some bait is exactly what we needed.”

I really don’t understand. “Lure whom? What camp?”

Praxigor sighs. “Such a dense species. Everything must be explained! Tarat’ex, you explain.”

“Chief Praxigor wants gold,” Tarat’ex tells me as he pulls a coil of rough rope out of his pack. “Nearby is the camp of what remains of the Skrok tribe. Their village was destroyed by a herd of passingbobonts, and they had to leave their turf because a swarm of irox settled there. Now they’ve set up camp here, among the ancient stones. We believe that they have gold that our Chief may take for his hoard.”

I keep my hand on the knife. “Gold? Does the tribe use that?”

“It seems some tribes like it,” the outcast says and comes closer. “They put it on their totem poles because it shines prettily in the sun. Is that not right, Gulu’oz?”

One of the other two outcasts nods. He’s old and crooked, thin and smelly. “I don’t care for shiny things, but it is true. I visited the Skrok tribe once. The top of the totem pole was clad in a metal that shone in the sun. It was blinding, almost. They were so proud of it, they polished it every day.”

Tarat’ex comes closer with the rope in his hands.

“Nobody’s tying me up,” I tell them, backing off a couple of paces. “I’ll help, but you’re not tying me up.”

“Oh, but that is necessary,” Praxigor says with great sincerity. “The men of that tribe must hear you, so they come running. You must keep them occupied somehow while I and these pitiful lackeys go into their camp and find the gold. We shall tie you up so well that it will take them some time to free you.” He taps his lips with one finger. “It would help if you were to also fight them.Perhaps we can leave one hand free, and you can hold a stick of some kind? Surprise them by hitting them? I don’t know how those crude things work.”

“Chief,” Tarat’ex says obsequiously, “what if you were to stay here with the female, out of sight, and then attack them by surprise? You could easily overpower the handful of men left of the Skrok tribe. The three of us will then be able to search their camp much more thoroughly. They certainly didn’t bring their whole totem pole from their ruined village. They most likely took the gold off and carried it with them.”

“Nobody’s tying me up,” I repeat. “I’ll help, but not like that.”

In a blue flash, Praxigor is next to me, grabbing my wrists. “Do as you’re told, Astrid the alien. Bring the rope, lackeys.”

The outcasts tie me up while the dragon holds me, his eyes sparkling the whole time. I try to fight him, but he’s superhumanly strong.

“Don’t do this,” I plead. “They could hurt me!”

“They could,” he agrees cheerfully, “but they also can’t possibly resist a woman in the jungle. You’ll be the first one they’ve seen in their lives! Did you know the slayers don’t have women of their own? There were none on the whole planet until recently! And one of them is you!”

I try the ropes. They’re tight, but not painfully so. Still, I’m stuck here until someone unties me. “I’m afraid, Praxigor.”

“Such a fearful kind,” he muses. “Soon I’ll have my gold, and you will see what a dragon in full looks like. It will scare you more than these sorry-looking slayers!”

“She’s securely tied, Chief,” Tarat’ex reports. “We shall get ready, and then she must make some noises to attract the Skrok men. Please leave us a hundred heartbeats to get into position.”

“Then go.” Praxigor lazily waves his hand, dismissing the outcasts.

I writhe against the tree. The ropes are tight, but there’s some room to slide them up or down. “What do you need that gold for, anyway?”

Praxigor frowns. “You’re asking a dragon what he needsgoldfor? Do you really not know? Dragons collect hoards! We gather great heaps of gold and lie on them. It’s the most glorious enjoyment! I’m much more than what you see before you here. You see only a… aman, much like the slayers. Although infinitely stronger and more capable, granted. But in my real form, I’m so much more! I’ve been stuck on this goldforsaken planet for years, unable to get away! And the other dragons left me behind! Well, that’s none of your concern. Suffice it to say that as soon as I have my gold, I can leave. Finally. And that day is now here.” He gives me an icy grin.

“I don’t understand everything you say,” I tell him as I keep squirming to loosen the stiff ropes. “But I’m sorry the other dragons left you behind.”

“I said that’s none of your concern!” he snaps. “Any moment now I will Change to my real form and be on my way. After I seek out certain traitor princelings and their underlings and kill them. Slowly.”

The jungle is quiet. There’s a smell of smoke and meat wafting past me, coming from the unseen camp. What will tribesmendo when they discover a tied-up woman in the jungle? Probably nothing that’s too pleasant for the woman.

“Please untie me,” I sniffle. “That tribe — they could hurt me.”

Praxigor tilts his head to the side. “Surely you’re willing to take some pain, if it means that I get my gold? Be more like my pitiful outcasts! Note how they rush to do my bidding.”

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