Page 56 of Malice

“Oh god, I’m ogling you like a creep. I’m so sorry.”

Aster chuckles, dragging his hand through his hair. “Ogle away. I like it.”

It would be easy to ignore the reason Aster’s in my life in the first place. I want to invite him back to bed, cuddle next to him, explore every inch of his body and what makes him come the hardest. I want to taste his flesh, his kiss, and fuck, do I want his cum in my mouth.

“Hudson? Your cheeks are flushed.”

I blow out a breath and pull back the blankets, revealing my own erection.

“Fuck,” Aster moans, rubbing himself. “Do you know how hot you are?”

That question is almost laughable, but my head is too foggy with desire to object. I spread my legs in invitation, and despite the need for a shower, all I want to do is rub all over him again.

Aster stalks toward me, climbing across the mattress and claiming my lips in a heated kiss. I wrap my arms around hisneck, falling back and moaning under his full weight. Aster hooks his hand under my knee, pulling my leg up and allowing our bodies to fully notch together. There’s no lube between us, but I’m aware of the sticky precum both of us are producing.

The scent of sex fills the space, and as Aster’s hand glides down my body and between my ass cheeks, I clench with need. It’s been years since I’ve had anal sex, and I just know Aster would do it right, but the thought of being that vulnerable with a man I barely know washes over me like a bucket of cold water.

I flinch and shrink back slightly, breaking the kiss. Aster lifts his head, gazing down at me with pure concern reflected in his eyes.

“Too fast. Sorry.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s me. Don’t be sorry. I want to. Fuck, do I want to, but…”

“I get it.”

“Do you?”

“You’ve been through a lot, and even though this feels good, I totally understand why you’d want to pump the brakes.”

His reply causes a strange reaction in me, almost like frustration. Isn’t he supposed to be a cold, selfish asshole? That’s the only kind of guy I attract.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asks.

“No. Why?”

“Your face looks like you smelled something rotten.”

Blowing out a breath, I attempt to neutralize my expression. “Sorry. I was thinking about something else.”

“Want to tell me about it?”

“Are you a licensed therapist?”

Aster chuckles, rubbing my knee. “Nope. I’m a good listener though, and I’m trying to be your friend.”

Friend? That sounds really… nice. I could use a friend. Even one I’m wildly attracted to. What would it feel like to open upand talk about all the shit in my head instead of funneling it through fictional characters? Hell, I can’t even write these days. Maybe I should give it a shot.

“It’s embarrassing, but your response rubbed me wrong. I’m used to guys being selfish and uncaring. The logical part of my brain knows there’s a strong chance you’re really good at manipulating people and I’m totally falling for your bullshit, but…”

The calm look on his face, the lack of defensiveness or need to argue with me, is all I need to continue.

“But I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re actually a good person, and maybe you really do care about what happens to me.”

“Over time you’ll figure it out. Words are just words, right? Action is what matters, and I’m confident that you’ll know without a doubt that I’m not here to hurt you. I’m actually really honored you shared your body with me.”

“Honored?”

“Yeah, honored. If it makes you feel better, it’s been a really long time for me too. I haven’t been in a relationship in years, and the hookup scene was tiring, so I’ve been going solo for a couple of years now.”

---