Page 100 of Malice

“You finally make it to your home airport, but then you gotta catch the train or hail a taxi, and there’s a lot of traffic because it’s Boston.”

He chuckles. “Yeah.”

“After what feels like an eternity, the taxi turns onto your street and your house comes into view and there’s this flood of emotions. You’re exhausted, but more than that, you’re relieved and happy. You can’t wait to get inside and be around all your things again.”

Aster’s eyes soften. “I know the feeling.”

“The first thing you do is take a shower and lie down in your own bed. It’s suddenly the most comfortable bed in the world, and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. That’s you, Aster. There were so many delays, canceled flights, and some rough neighborhoods, but I got home. I made it.”

“Hud…”

“I don’t know a lot of things about healthy relationships or love or what’s even possible, but I know when it’s right because this is so different from all the times it was wrong. Maybe there’s a rulebook no one ever gave me and I shouldn’t be saying all of this, but we’ve been through a lot and I think you can handle it.”

Aster gazes at me with pure anticipation in his eyes. He doesn’t look nervous or afraid or turned-off at all. He looks like love and a future I only dreamed of.

“I’m falling in love with you, Aster. That’s the only explanation for this too-big feeling inside me. It’s the only thing that makes sense. For the first time in ages, I’m not afraid or nervous or cautious. I’m not ignoring a thousand alarm bells or red flags. I know this won’t be normal, but maybe I wasn’tdestined for normal, average love. Maybe…” I blink rapidly to hold back the tears. “Maybe I was destined for you.”

“Hudson.” Aster pulls me into his arms, holding me so tightly it’s almost hard to breathe.

When he releases me, I’m not afraid of what he’s going to say. I know in my soul that this man has feelings for me, as if some unseen friend whispered it directly to my heart.

“I was worried it would be too much,” he says softly before pulling back enough to meet my gaze. “There’s no freaking way I’m letting you go.”

“I knew it. I saw it in your eyes.”

“You did?”

I nod. “Yeah. Before you left to deal with… that thing. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever seen a tangible expression of love. I’ve seen lust, I’ve seen friendship, I’ve seen sibling affection, but I’ve never seen someone’s heart beating just for me until now.”

“I was told that your destiny changed the day I died. I don’t entirely understand it. I don’t know if Fate decided to play matchmaker or if there’s some otherworldly aspect to matching Soul Chasers to mortals, but I was meant for you.”

“Jocelyn told me something similar. She said she had a really clear reading that you were for me. The love I wanted so much was waiting for you to find me.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through so much to get to me.”

“I’m not. Not anymore. Life is weird, even weirder than I ever knew, but I can honestly say that the way I feel right now makes up for all the hurt in the past.” I grip his hand. “Aster, I’m not scared anymore. At all. I’ve spent almost two years afraid of my own shadow. Every time I tried to go on a date I would break out in a cold sweat. The couple of times I managed it, the guy would touch me or kiss me and I’d have a panic attack that I was letting evil into my life again.”

“And now?”

“That fear is gone, and it has been since the first night we kissed. Iwantedyou to touch me. I trusted you before I knew I could, and that just proves to me that this is right. You and me.”

He smiles, cupping my cheek. “I can’t tell you how many years I wanted to find someone special to spend my life with. I went on so many dates and…” He shakes his head. “I was losing hope that I’d ever have that feeling I chased. I don’t know how many times I was told I was a hopeless romantic, but it wasn’t hopeless after all, was it?”

“No.”

“All I had to do was die first.”

We both laugh as Aster nuzzles my cheek.

“Just a minor thing.”

“No big deal,” he says. His brow creases as he gently pinches my chin. “There’s a process we go through to stay together. It’s called a love bond.”

“Crash told me about it. Sort of.”

“Did he?”

“I think he wanted to make me feel better.”