Page 34 of Peacocks

Quinn had thrown up his hands. “Thankyou, Jay,” he’d said, breathless from exertion. “Finally. At leastsomeonearound here understands me.”

“Jayisfun,” I told Pete, unable to keep a smile off my face. “He’s fun, and he’skind. And I love him for it.”

“Love?” Pete said, grinning and bouncing his eyebrows again. “You gonna make him a wreath, Doc Lane? Wrap your vines of love all around him?”

My stomach twisted even as I waved a hand. “I’m gonna try. I made him a wreath a while ago. It’s terrible, but it’s done. I mean. Kind of. Overdone, maybe. I tried fixing it a few times, and it didn’t get any better.” I scraped my upper lip with my teeth. “It’s a lot of pressure, making a wreath for the Thicket’s Entwinin’ expert.”

Petetsk’d. “It’s the gesture, Lane. Not the craftsmanship. And you’re not about perfection anymore.”

I remembered Jay the night he’d introduced me to Disco Dave, telling me that nobody expected perfection in an Entwinin’ wreath because “the real perfection is the love the maker has for their Entwined.”

Loving Jaybird Proud was the only kind of perfection I was interested in anymore.

I nodded. “Thanks, Pete. That helps.”

“Talk to him, Doc. And get on out of here. If anyone shows up needing their anal glands expressed, I’m your man.”

I let out a laugh and headed home as quickly as possible.

I was surprised to find that most of the afternoon had passed while I’d been talking with Pete. When I got back to Jay’s house, the lights in his garage workshop were on, casting a warm glow into the dusky yard.

I knocked on the open garage door, stepping inside when he didn’t respond. Jay was hunched over his workbench on a stool, his hands busy weaving wisteria vines into a wreath. He didn’t greet me with his usual “Howdy, neighbor.” He didn’t even look up.

“Hey,” I called, suddenly hesitant.

“Hey. Thought you’d be a while,” he said without turning around. “Catching up with Chad and all that. Getting the scoop on your new job. You looked real excited.”

I blinked.HadI? Maybe, for half a second. The research position was the sort of thing that would have excited me… before I’d figured out what, and who, I really wanted.

I stepped closer. “Doyouthink I should take it?”

His shoulders lifted and lowered, the faded denim of his shirt covered in bits and pieces of dried vine. “Why wouldn’t you? Sounds like a good opportunity. You’ll get to spend time with the kind of folks you like to spend time with. Folks who are smart, like you. You deserve it. H-happy for you.”

Jay didn’t sound happy in the slightest, and that knowledge gave me courage.

I stepped closer again, wanting nothing more than to lean my face into his neck and inhale deeply, apologize, and beg for forgiveness.

“Too bad I turned it down, then, huh?”

He pivoted on the stool until he faced me, his expression uncharacteristically shuttered. My chest ached with the knowledge I was partially responsible for it.

“You…? But I thought… Chad said that job was exactly what you wanted.”

“It might have been, once. But…” I pressed my lips together for a moment as if in thought. “I love my job here. I love house calls to Dunn’s farm just to find out Bernadette the pig is unhappy with her new nail polish color. I love watching kids like Jolly Parsons bring in the new puppy she earned with her hard work walking other dogs in the neighborhood. And I love standing in line at Henson’s Grocery, overhearing that you donated a brand-new parka to the old coat drive and knowing it’s because you still can’t bring yourself to get rid of a coat I wore one time, months ago.”

Jay’s eyes widened. “You heard about that?”

I stepped closer and used my thumb to gently brush a piece of dirt off his cheek. “I did. And I thought, ‘Now,thatis a guy I want to spend time with. That is a guy who’ssmart‘cause he knows what’s really important.’”

He blinked, and I almost laughed.

“You make me feel so cared for, Jay. So understood. Soliked. And I set up a whole lunch at the Steak n’ Bait so I could tell you how much it means to me…” I grimaced. “But then I had to go and ruin it with an accidental assholering.”

The edges of Jay’s lips quirked up. “You’re the one with the big vocabulary, but I don’t think that’s a word, fancy pants.”

That tiny glimmer of a smile did things to my insides. “I am so sorry about today. The things Chad said… the way he treated you… It was disgusting, and I told him so. I’m ashamed I ever dated him and even more ashamed to think I might have once acted like that?—”

“Hey, now.” Jay’s smile disappeared, and he clapped a hand over my mouth. “Stop talkin’ silly talk. You could never, Lane Desmond. Not possible.” He shook his head angrily. “I used to wonder what kind of fool your ex must’ve been to give you up… Now I’m just sorry you wasted a second of your time with him.”

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