Page 42 of Restrained

She smiles and nods her head appreciatively and then eyes me. “So, you spent the night working huh?”

I feel guilty for lying to her earlier, but I didn’t want to explain over the phone. “I was with a client.”

She studies me. “You bad girl.” She laughs. “Sleeping with a client, huh?”

I feel no shame for sleeping with Hayden. In fact, the memories only make me smile, a big goofy smile I can’t erase from my face. “I did.”

She looks oddly proud. “The hot asshole?”

I laugh, I’ve told her about Hayden. “Yes. And he’s not so bad.”

“Yeah, they never seem so bad when they’re making you come.”

I laugh again. I like drunk Viv. She’s a lot more open, kinda like Penelope. “I started to like him before I came actually.”

She smiles. “That’s great. It’s good to see you happy, Lola.”

“That’s all I want for you and Ash. And Penelope and Linc. And my mom.”

She plays with the wine bottle, holding it by the neck and letting the bottom edge roll over the wooden table. “You love hard, Lola Sterling. But our happiness is up to us.”

“I’m starting to get that.”

She swallows, and I watch the movement of her throat, the anguish she carries. “I loved your brother. Deeply. With everything I had. I would have stayed with him forever.”

My smile is gone as I listen to her confess what I already knew. “It could still happen someday.”

Even if that thought scares me to death. I don’t want to watch them destroy each other. “He doesn’t think we’re a good fit, and he’s right. We would be an absolute disaster. But maybe I'm not meant to be happy.”

“That’s not true, Viv.”

Her eyes peel away from the wine bottle she was staring at like she was in a trance, and she looks at me. “I seem to only be attracted to men who will hurt me.”

“Sawyer has grown up a lot.”

“And still... your first inclination when you saw me upset was that he did something bad.”

I flinch. “I care about you. I don’t want to ever see you hurting.”

“Life is painful. Love is even more painful.” She places her hand over mine that’s resting on the table. “Your client, huh? Are you dating him? Or just sex?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the only answer I have. Hayden and I didn’t really discuss what we were after our night together.

“Well, you seem awfully happy.”

“I was a virgin.” I don’t know why the hell I just blurted that out, and she’s clearly surprised. I’ve never told anyone, not even Penelope.

“Ummm . . . Wow.”

“Yeah...” I feel like an idiot. I guess because she confessed something to me, I felt I also needed to.

“Was he good?”

Not why did you wait so long? Not you’re a freak. “Yes.” I smile and bite my bottom lip. “Really, really good.”

She laughs. “Sounds like you waited for the right one for the job.”

I smile. “I think I did, but we barely know each other. I guess I was tired of being so in control.”

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