Page 29 of Restrained

Her right eyebrow lifts in a question. I know I'm being totally inappropriate, but whatever. We’re family, and maybe I'm tired of holding back so much. “What exactly are you asking?”

I bite my bottom lip and then slouch back into the couch. “No offense, Viv, but you and me... we’re kind of cut from the same cloth. Wealthy, spoiled, uptight, perfect girls.”

She doesn’t object as she thinks that over and leans back next to me. “Yes?”

“But you...” I turn my head to look over at her, “you somehow let go. I guess our parents would say you ‘acted out.’”

“You mean sleeping with Colt and getting knocked-up in high school?”

I nod my head and smile. “That and then, you know, sleeping with Asher when he was living with you.”

Her eyes didn’t show pain when she talked about getting pregnant young, but I definitely see the anguish in her eyes when Asher is mentioned. “Yes. I don’t understand what you’re asking though.”

“What made you let go and just do what you wanted to do?”

Her head finally pivots to face me, and she tilts it slightly, showing understanding. “I just did it. I don’t know how to explain it. With Colt...” I know I flinched when she said his name, and she places her hand on my shoulder gently. “With him, it was like the perfect storm. We were both these seemingly perfect beings who were close to breaking, and we just used each other.”

“And with Asher?”

I hate the pain his memory causes her. “That was different. Wrong. So wrong. But so right too.”

My heart aches for her. I know she loved my brother. Maybe she still does. “And Sawyer?”

She smiles, her cheeks blushing slightly. “Sawyer was definitely a surprise. I didn’t expect to like him. He’s not sweet or really all that nice.”

I laugh. “Not at all.”

She laughs with me, not offended. “No offense to your brother, but after Asher, you would think I would go for someone sweet and attentive, you know? But?—”

“That doesn’t turn you on.” I interrupt.

“Not at all.” She smiles and then shrugs. “But Sawyer is different.”

“Than Asher?”

She nods, and I think things are going to get awkward if it’s a sexual thing, which has me slightly concerned. “He wasn’t sure he would be good at a relationship, but he wanted to try anyway.”

“He had the balls to be with you.” I smile. “Hot.”

She giggles and then sighs. “Very.”

“Asher...” I suddenly feel the need to defend my brother, but I don’t know what to say. She drops her hand from my shoulder and looks straight ahead.

“Asher doesn’t want a relationship. He was very clear about that from the beginning. I was stupid and fell hard for a boy who didn’t want me.”

I don’t know how to comfort her. “I think he does.”

I watch her swallow the sadness. “It was primal with Asher. Sexual, but...”

“No real feelings?”

She faces me again, her face sad. “I don’t know. We cared about each other.” She repeats herself again sadly, “I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry Viv. You seem happy with Sawyer though.”

“It’s nice with him. Kind of comfortable, but not in an unsexy way.”

I nod. “Are you guys serious then? Like officially?”

---