Page 2 of Restrained

Now it’s her turn to comfort me. She puts her coffee down and wraps her small arm around my shoulders. “Everyone handles grief differently.”

I close my eyes, the agony slicing through my heart thinking about the night I found out Colt was dead, when he drowned inthe lake. He had been at a party on a boat and was drinking, and he fell overboard. He hated the water, but he had been spinning out of control for a while, drowning while he was alive. And I couldn’t save him.

I didn’t even try.

“I let them down. Linc and Penelope, they were at war, punishing each other. And I let them, even knowing how toxic they had become. And Asher...” I feel the sick feeling again, thinking about my youngest brother still living at home while my mother was racked with guilt and unable to function. “I should have stepped in and been there for him. But I didn’t.”

Her eyes squeeze shut. I’m certain they’ve talked about that time, but I can’t bear to hear the details of the hell he went through. “He loves you.”

I smile. “When I realized how bad things had gotten with Linc and Penelope, I stepped in and I promised myself I would never again let my siblings suffer in silence. That I would be there for them. Asher may hate me momentarily, but he’ll thank me later. You guys needed some space.”

The pained expression on her face tells me my instincts were right. “You’re their sister. It’s not your job to rescue them.”

I lean my face against hers. “You’re my nephew’s mom. To me that makes you more than just my friend. That makes you my sister.” I smile and pull back enough to look into her eyes. “And I'm going to do my damnedest to be a good sister from now on.”

Her lips lift in a small smile that still screams of sadness, but maybe also a glimmer of joy. “You are very good, Lola.”

“Stay as long as you want. It’s nice having people in this big house.”

“If you’re sure.”

I nod decisively. “Very.” I smile as Sebastian, or Baz as we call him, slides open the door and runs outside in his Spiderman pajamas with his brown hair all mussed from sleep. “Mommy!”

He jumps onto her lap, and she uses the hand that was around my shoulders to catch him. “Good morning.”

He laughs, and the laugh sends happiness and grief soaring through me. It’s just like his father’s.

Colt.

“I’m hungry!”

I laugh. He’s always right to business, that one. Barely four and already a force in this world.

“I bought some stuff yesterday, but I'm going to be honest,” I meet Viv’s eyes, “I don’t know much about tiny humans. So if there’s anything else he would like to eat, please let me know.”

She smiles and holds him close to her. “I’m sure I can find a store.” She shrugs. “After I buy a car that is, which is on my list for the day.”

I nod. We’re a lot alike. We both always have a plan. “Sounds good, but I don’t mind. I have a meeting I need to get to and some other work to attend to, but I’ll be home for dinner.” I stand up, straightening my skirt. “I’ll order something when I get home.”

“Or maybe I can cook, depending on what’s in the fridge.”

I stare at her, impressed. “You cook?”

She laughs and stands with Baz in her arms, his body nearly overtaking her small frame. “I’m trying.”

“We’ll get along just fine then. I’ll see you this evening. Call if you need anything at all.”

She nods, and I give Baz a hug and a kiss before I leave them in my home, one that they can call their own.

I know she misses Asher. I know he misses her.

When I intervened with Penelope and Lincoln, my hope was they would take the time apart to grow and then come back together stronger. And they did. Their love is fierce, and it’s a healthy, hearty love now.

When it came to Asher and Vivienne though, the thought of them together terrifies the living hell out of me. I was relieved Vivienne took me up on my offer and moved out here to live with me in California, fleeing from the situation with Asher that had grown dark and bitter.

And I only hope I can give them both the strength to stay far away from one another forever.

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