Page 91 of Restrained

“It was.” I point to my chest. “Will you please just blame me. I don’t need your sympathy. At least he’s pissed. Everyone else lets me off the hook, but I let them down.”

“You were their sister. You’re human, and you need to let yourself off the hook.”

I turn away from him, angry for no reason, and he quickly catches up to me. “You think you’re weak, Lola Sterling? You’re everything, but that. You aren’t a meek little mouse.”

“If you call me a lion, I will punch you. And a hell of a lot harder than you hit Asher.”

He laughs and cups my face in his hands. “You aren’t a fucking lion or a mouse. You’re a strong, caring, incredible woman who I can’t stop thinking about, who I’m obsessed withand not ashamed of it for a second because look at you,” he looks into my eyes, and I know he truly sees me, “you are everything.”

He looks at me like I truly am everything to him. “I really do love you. I never thought I’d be here.”

His lips brush against mine. “I didn’t either, but I’m happy I am.”

Me too. I don’t even want to think about a time without him.

39

LOLA

The next morning, I’m up early, and I'm surprised to find Asher when I sneak downstairs to get a cup of coffee. He doesn’t turn to look at me when I walk into the kitchen. He just stands by the large window, staring at the white snow, and my heart breaks for him.

God, I just want to help him.

But I know Hayden is right. I can’t help him right now, but I’ll always be his sister. “Good morning.”

He turns to look at me, and I try not to focus on his swollen lip and bruised cheek. “Morning.”

He looks hungover and beaten all to hell, not just by Hayden’s fist but life itself. And I can’t help him.

I can’t help him.

I stare at him like an idiot, fighting every instinct to ask if he’s okay and offer advice. Instead, I look out the window. “Wow, it snowed a lot.”

He looks at me, confused. “Yeah. It did.”

Don’t ask him if he’s in pain. If his stupid face hurts.

“Hopefully, our flight won’t be canceled. I’m tired of the snow.”

He nods, looking back out the window. “Yeah. I’m getting pretty tired of it myself.”

Do not ask him to come to California with the family that loves him and misses him so much.

I pour myself a cup of coffee. “Are you the first one up? Or is Mom somewhere?”

“I haven’t seen anyone this morning.” He turns back to me with suspicion, probably wondering when I'm going to start being more myself. “Where’s Hayden?” He looks guilty. “You guys didn’t get into a fight, did you?”

I join him at the table, with my cup of coffee, “No. We talked.”

He nods, looking relieved. “Good.”

I’m chewing on my bottom lip, still struggling not to talk to him about last night. “Yeah.”

“I like him.”

My eyes meet his, and I can tell he’s sincere. “Me too.” I smile. “A lot.”

“I’m sorry about last night...” He grabs the back of his neck, and I want to hug him but resist. He stands up as if he can tell what I want to do and can’t handle it. “I’m glad it didn’t cause any trouble with you guys. He’s a good guy.”

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