Page 19 of Restrained

I like the protectiveness inside this woman for Penelope, but I don’t show it. “Your father?”

She looks away and out the window. “My father doesn’t love anyone.”

Daddy issues. Not shocking. Sort of explains why Lola gave up her high paying, father-given job and moved across the country to start her own business. But not really.

“Did he hurt her?”

Her eyes snap to mine. “No. My father doesn’t care about anything or anyone enough to hurt them.”

“You don’t have to care to beat on someone.”

“Indifference is the most painful feeling of them all, Hayden.” She takes a step closer to me, her eyes cold and almost eerie. “But it isn’t physical. It’s emotional, and that’s the only kind of pain my father has ever inflicted.”

Okay. So, this woman is more of a mystery than I let myself believe.

I hate the deep-seated pain I see in her eyes. I want her to be boring. I need her to be an airheaded yuppie, only caring about her next big purchase and not having torment burning in her soul that calls to my own pain.

Soulless bitches, I can handle.

“Who are you, Lola Sterling?”

“I’m boring. Remember?”

I swallow and look into her beautiful eyes.

I’m trying to remember that.

10

LOLA

Ipull into my garage and take a moment to sit behind the wheel, laying my forehead against it with my hands still gripping it.

Who the hell is Hayden West?

He screams entitled brat, but then when he speaks, and I look directly into his eyes, taking time to actually study him,... it just doesn’t fit.

He’s a mystery. And like Hayden, I don’t like mysteries.

I tried to answer his questions without giving too much away because I just want to get the work done and be finished with him. If he needs questions answered, then so be it, but I can’t shake the way he makes me feel.

Vulnerable. Exposed. Terrified.

Not of him hurting me. At least not physically, but of the unknown. Of thinking about him long after I leave him. I haven’t ever experienced that in my life.

I take a few deep breaths and then climb out of my car, walking into the house and finding Viv and Baz outside swimming in the pool. They’re both laughing and seem carefree even though I know Vivienne has a million things on her mind.

She’s a damn good mother who can seem perfectly fine on the outside while she aches inside.

Which is tricky for a friend like me who’s worried about her. Listening to Sebastian’s sweet little laugh makes my heart soar but also squeeze in agony. It mirrors Colt’s to a T. He had such a distinct laugh, one I never thought could be copied. But Baz has it.

Somehow, he left his laughter for us.

I close my eyes and listen for a moment, going back to a time when I had three brothers on this earth with me. Brothers I took for granted. Love I took for granted.

I was driven from a young age. My father demonstrated his disappointment quickly that his oldest was, in fact, female. I wanted to prove to him I could be strong and powerful, a force to be reckoned with.

I didn’t date. I didn’t hang out with friends often. I worked hard.

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