Page 117 of Damaged

Seven bathrooms, although I’ve only been in three. A lounge we’ve never lounged in. A billiards rooms with a pool table we’ve only ever fucked on.

Steve joins me on my adventure and walks a little ahead of me like he’s my tour guide. I guess he is. I’ll go an entire day without seeing him in this castle. He enjoys acting like it’s his jungle.

When I’m done, I stand by the entrance and scratch Steve’s ears. I listen to the fountain trickle. It is a life of absolute luxury. Insulated from poverty. From disaster.

If the Yellowstone volcano erupted, James would just jet us to Tasmania.

But it comes with a cost, and it’s not just his time, but mine, too. Two months into this relationship, and work is already making its way as a priority. What happens after we’ve been dating for two years?

I look around the foyer. This entrance could fit a marching band. Yes, it’s an amazing apartment. And I think I’m a pretty good girlfriend, too.

But the question is, can he have both?

James

I’ve missed a few of our evening cuddles on the couch. Four in a row, to be precise. I knew she’d be upset with me, but I was hoping Sophia would be angry.

Instead, she’s sad. That I can’t take. Her tired, upset voice on the other line when I told her I was going to be late once again tonight was a flame held to my heart.

I can’t help it. First it was Brazil, and now I’m in full-blown damage control after our top competitor, Lariat Systems, filed a lawsuit saying we stole intellectual property.

The whole suit is just meant to be barbed wire. To tangle up our newest product in the legal system. We’ll win the suit. We didn’t steal the shit that Lariat sells.

But their goal is to slow us down, and that’s exactly what they’ll do.

I’ve been rageful the past few weeks. I want to schedule a meeting in Cairo with the CEO of Lariat and feed him to a crocodile. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that my bond-villain moment was a one-off in my life. It wouldn’t be happening again.

Unless someone introduced saltwater crocodiles into the Hudson… It would take money, sure. Connections. I’ve got those.

Butthink, James. They’d freeze in the winter. Then again maybe not.

They’re clever. They’d retreat to the sewers like the old urban legends.

Listen to yourself. My mind is trashed and scattered. In fact, rageful isn’t quite right. This train of thought makes me realize I’m feeling somewhatinsanetoday.

I need eight hours of sleep and a day in bed with Sophia.

No more crocodiles, unfortunately. I have to go back to shooting people like a regular Joe Blow.

Speaking of that… The Society decidednotto suspend me. In fact, despite Cody’s most fervent protests, I’m up for election to the board.

Apparently, most members thought it was genius of me to shoot one of the burglars in the head. Now no one can accuse me of being in on the heist.

But more than that, there’s the aura of having killed a man that has all these old men looking at me starry-eyed like I’m John Wayne.

Society can pretend otherwise, but we respect lethal men. This fact is apparent when I walk into the club now. The men all nod at me, down to the floor. Little bows. It’s pathetic, but I’ll take what I can on the path to power.

The one hiccup I’m having with my election is that Cody is spreading bullshit rumors that I told Sophia about everything. They want to interview her before there’s a vote, but that is never going to happen.

I’ve already exposed her to this vile world enough. But because of this, we’ve reached a deadlock, and I don’t know what to do because of it.

Usually, I have a plan. I have recourse. But I’m out of options. Sophia will not be speaking to these reptilians. End of story.

But as much as I despise them, I won’t forfeit my chance to lead them. It’s that or be led by them during my climb to the mountaintop.

Tonight, I’m hardly present at my business dinner. Not once, but twice, someone has to say my name to get my attention. I even walk over to the bar on the other side of the restaurant and have a double of scotch to try and quell my nerves.

It’s Sophia’s voice I can’t get out of my head. Sorrow. Disappointment. But the worst part was that in her inflection, there was a hint of expectation. Four days in a row. She knew it was coming, but it still hurt.

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