Page 94 of Damaged

He turns, and we stare at each other. I do my very best to let my pleading eyes say what I can’t bring myself to—stay.Stay, James.

I think he understands me, but he takes my head in both hands and plants a long kiss on my forehead.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he says and opens the front door.

I just smile sadly and lean against the doorframe. I watch him walk off like a woman watching her husband going to war.

Worried she’s watching herself become a widow.

Because after what I saw him do last night, I’m no fool. I know deep down that paperwork is something he hires someone else to do.

If James isn’t leaving me for good, war isexactlywhere he’s going.

James

The nausea returned on my flight, but by the time I’ve landed in New York, it’s gone. All that’s left is the guilt, but something else is seeping out from it instead of sickness.

Hatred. Loathing. Rage.

That was some of the best sex of my life, I’m not going to lie. And it wasn’t because of our skills and anticipation. No, it’s because Sophia isn’t some random woman.

I care about her.

I’ve never done that. Sex has always been about conquering. About pleasure. Usually, I only stare into the eyes of a woman long enough to know she’s mine, but with Sophia… I couldn’t keep my eyes away.

Sophia. I could think about her all day, but I can’t do that without thinking of the bruises that blossom on her otherwise flawless skin.

Mentally, she does seem okay. Some people are less susceptible to trauma. But it’s more likely that some people are better at hiding it. She will have nightmares about this. She will wake in a cold sweat with a phantom pain ringing out from her gut before she realizes it was all just a dream.

So, I won’t sleep until everyone responsible for this is six feet under. But that would include myself. It was me more than anyone who put Sophia in danger. My life hasn’t always been on a knife’s edge like this. She caught me at the wrong time. It started with buying the auction house. The blackmail.

Cody wants to chat again. He sounded enraged over the phone. The body I left behind is serious evidence, and if his burglary team gets caught, the feds are only an encrypted email chain away from him.

I get in the back seat of a Mercedes and give the address to an old colonial-style house in the Hamptons.

It’s Cody’s house. I met him there when the whole charade began. It would be a fitting place for its end.

It’s a long drive, and I have a lot of time to think about what I want to do when I get inside. I have the same gun on me I used on his henchman. The police want it. But I haven’t surrendered it yet.

It still carries an uneven nine bullets after firing three into that goon.

Nine is plenty.

I’m sure Cody has that brick wall of a bodyguard with him. He’s expecting me, after all—and probably at least one other on his property. But it’s not whether I could do it; it’s about if I could get away with it.

The answer is obviously no. There will be cameras. And my phone isn’t off. Even if I turned it off now, it will have me traced heading in the direction of the Hamptons. Besides, a part of me is afraid to pull the trigger. But it’s not a fear for my own safety or life. It’s an idea. The idea of getting caught and never seeing Sophia again.

I gulp and put the pistol in the seat back in front of me. So, this is what I’ve been afraid of for so many years? This is the feeling—having something to lose.

My business never caused me the same anxiety when it was threatened. It was pure anger then. But thinking of losing Sophia… It comes with something else. Crushing pressure in my chest. A broken heart.

I shake my head wryly at my own thoughts. I really did it this time. I fell into the trap of feelings I’ve been deriding my entire life. But a new thought is dawning on me. It’s making my jaw slacken, my eyes squint stupidly.

Maybe these feelings are worth it.

Soon I’m in the Hamptons, and I step out of the car and stroll up the long brick sidewalk to Cody’s house.

I don’t have to touch the knocker. The door opens, and the same beefy security guard from just last night steps to the side to let me in.

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