Page 122 of Damaged

“Morally, not really,” says James. “But laws are laws.”

“Will you tell me what it is?”

“Today?” he asks, like such a thing would taint our confession of love. He’s right. But maybe for this love to work, I have to hear it. I chew my lip, and James walks closer. He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I shrink away.

I can tell the gesture hurts him, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep watching him leave as soon as I have him to myself. Every time. Every damn time he has to leave.

“I will be back for the orchestra.”

“Are you flying to New York?”

“It’s less than two hours each way. I’m meeting not far from the airport. I will make it back tonight.”

“It’s supposed to snow here.”

“I know.”

“A lot.”

“It’ll be fine, Sophia. I know this seems like a scumbag move, but I’m doing this for you as much as for me. I need to get this off my back. It could ruin me. It could ruinus.”

Blackmail is different than his other common business problems. I give him that. I can only nod because I feel like I’m going to start crying.

I don’t want to seem dramatic, but James leaving now of all times just feels wrong. It feels like fate. Intervention.

Like something larger is warning me that this is what our love will always be. “Go. You don’t have much time,” I manage to say.

He kisses me quickly, but my lips don’t move. The big heavy door clanks shut, and he’s gone. I could almost laugh if I didn’t think it would turn to sobs.

Wejustgot to the hotel, and he’s getting back on his plane.

I’ve felt a lot in my body throughout this relationship. Warm honey in blood when he holds me. A hiccupping heart when we kiss. Butterflies. Sparks. But something cold is settling over me. I feel it in my bones.

This.

Us.

It’s never going to work, is it?

James

I think I did a good job keeping my composure in front of Sophia, but I can’t be sure. My vision was blurred with rage. And dare I say… fear?

I’m afraid these days like I never have been before. If something happens to me, it also happens to Sophia.

If I were to die or end up imprisoned, she’d be crushed.

But what could Cody have that he could even blackmail me with? It’s this question that occupies my thoughts on the plane.

He was vague on the phone.“We have video of it, James. We can destroy a lot more than just your company. It’s even made my father change his mind about you.”

His words ring in my head. His hate for me is so obvious that everyone in The Society knows it. Recently he lost the support of his father, but if Daddy is angry, my contract with the government is as good as gone.

I don’t think Cody would bluff the existence of a video.

It must be me in Egypt. Me getting into the car with the Russian stuffed in the trunk with no context. Something like that. I don’t think he could put me in prison for a crime, but if there was enough smoke, it could scare off all my best clients.

I could be ruined.

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