Page 49 of Not a Perfect Save

Cloth still over my face, I nod, likely resembling a Halloween ghost. I fucking feel like one, it’s like she’s sucked the life out of me. Pathetic.

I sigh, drop my head further, and the terry cloth drops to the ground.

“He’s terminal,” Jake says. I look up to find him shaking his head. “There’s no coming back from this. I mean,lookat that schmuck.” He gestures at Logan.

Our team captain scowls, grabs a bottle of water from a nearby table and tosses it at me. I crack it open and guzzle it down.

“So, what’s the deal, then?” Logan asks me again.

I drag my hand down my face, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. “She doesn’t want to be with me.”

Jake winces. “Harsh. So harsh, man.”

Across him, Logan lifts an eyebrow. Just one. Always wished I could do that. “Did she actually say that?”

“Say what?”

“That she didn’t want to be with you.”

“Not in those words.”

Logan keeps his voice even, modulated. “What words did she use? Exactly.”

I’ve been trying to block out the memory of our last conversation entirely. Wish I had a mind-wiper. “She said we were a mistake. That I was too perfect,“ I spit out that word. “She said she doesn’t want people telling her what to do, what to think.”

“Then?” Jake prods.

“Then I told her she was hiding because she was afraid that people would leave her,” I say.

“You said that?”

“Yes.”

“You did all the talking?” Jakelookshorrified.

I shrug.

“Shit,” Logan says.

“And you left?” Both guys wear twin expressions of incredulity.

I nod.

“You. Fucking. Moron.” Jake slaps his forehead.

Logan translates. “So basically you did what she said everyone always does. Told her what wasgoodfor her. Lectured her. And left.”

When you put it that way…“Fuck.”

“Ding, ding, ding.” A smirk appears on Logan’s face as he leans forward to knock me on the head. I swat his hand away.

Panic begins to rage within me as all the other things I said rush back. I told Ella I loved her. And that people who cared about her wanted to support her, and then, in the same breath, I left. Abandoned her. My stomach goes into free fall.

I suck in a harsh breath. “So now what?”

“You want her back?” Logan confirms.

I scowl. “I never wanted to let her go to begin with.”

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