Page 37 of Not By the Playbook

Said paint fumes must have been more toxic than I thought because this is a Jenna I've never seen. She's Bellatrix Lestrange in a pantsuit.

I wait as she takes a breath and slowly lets it out with a hiss. She'd make a great snake. I should suggest it for Halloween.

"I saw Rebecca this morning. It was her first day.” Jenna is thin-lipped.

My ears prick up. I want to ask how Becs is doing. What she is doing. Did she ask about me? Does she miss me at all?

My teeth clench.No, asshole. She doesn’t. She got her job. She has everything she needs. Chapter closed. Moving on.

The grooves at the corners of Jenna’s mouth deepen. “I’ve never before had somebody leave the day they started work.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I’m halfway out of my seat.

“Rebecca told me everything. That the two of you faked your relationship.”

It takes a moment for her words to seep through my skull.

My mouth opens and shuts. I’m shocked at Rebecca, and I also don’t want to see the expression on my sister’s face, but I force myself to face her. The disappointment there is familiar. The self-derision, not so much.

Jenna plops into the armchair across from mine, leans back, and shuts her eyes on a groan. The white borders of her French manicure are stark against the dark couch.

“But…why?” My mouth is tense, I’m trying to keep from losing my shit even though I’m pissed with Jenna. And Rebecca.

“She couldn’t stand the way I was speaking about herfakeboyfriend.” She sits up, huffs, and continues, “Andapparently, she onlyjustrealized honesty and integrity were job requirements.”

“You can’t fire her.”

“I need someone with ethics,” Jenna bites out.

“She’s got ethics in spades!” I roar.

The silence that follows is deafening.

Jenna sighs. “She said you went along with it because of me.”

I keep my mouth shut.

“Have I really been so awful?” Her shoulders slump. “I’ve only ever tried to encourage you to do more.”

“You push me where I don’t always want to go,” I grit the words. “Jen, you are the ultimate professional, got your whole life together. I bet you’ve even selected the nursing home you want to end up in.” Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a casket picked out.

She takes in a sharp breath and swallows, eyes down.

I continue, “Me? You’re right. I’m a fuckup, I don’t have much of a plan. I fell into football by accident—”

“No, you didn’t! You practiced all the time!” Her head snaps up.

I go on as if she hadn’t interrupted. “And yes, I’m only one game away from hurting myself, or as you so colorfully put it, turning into a vegetable. I'm aware of the risks.” My neck muscles constrict, but I forge on. “But I love football. I know—know—I won't have it forever.”

My eyes shut, and I rub my temple. “Fuck, I know the end’s in sight. And I’m only now starting to figure out what I want to do next. Becs helped me with that. She was great! Isn’t that whole career management a thing that HR people do?”

“Well, she risked her job for you. What are you going to do about it if you are so miserable?” Jenna folds her arms across her chest and raises an eyebrow.

She’s right. Regret slices through me. It’s almost impossible to breathe. I need to get to Rebecca. I rush for the door but stop with my hand on the knob. I look back over my shoulder.

“Jen.” I clear my throat. “I'm sorry.”

She takes a deep breath, and a wry smile settles on her lips. “Me too, Logan. Me too.”

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