Page 38 of Not By the Playbook

Chapter Twenty-Three

BECS

It’sthe pounding that rouses me.

I jackknife up from my prone position on the couch. I face-planted on it after stumbling home and have been meditating on my failure as a human being ever since. How many people get fired the same morning they start their careers?

Lost the job. Lost the guy.

Nope. Rewind. Guy was never mine to begin with. Time to stop making shit up. It was a one-night stand that turned into a one-week stand. And now it’s over. Finito.

The thumping repeats. “Becs, open up. I know you’re in there!”

Logan?

I jerk to my feet and almost stumble on the crumpled dress on the ground in my rush to the door. But my trembling fingers stall on the lock. I swallow. “What do you want?”

“Let me in.”

“Why? We’re done, remember?” I squeeze my lids shut and lean my forehead against the wood. Iwanthim to leave, right?

“I spoke to Jenna,” his voice seeps through.

That’s what does it. I yank the door open. Logan looms before me in all his bloodshot-eyed glory, drenched as if he’s climbed up a waterfall and lost his razor along the way.

My hand itches to run over the scratchy stubble, but I clench my fingers tight before they can go roving.

“She said you told her everything.Why?Why would you do that?” The bewildered look on his face guts me. I don’t know why I care. I shouldn’t.

“She just kept going on about you. After you took that girl home…” The memory of that night is a raw wound that refuses to scab over. I spin and take a step back into the sanctuary of my apartment.

Logan captures my hand before I can take another. “Rebecca.”

I tug, but he doesn’t release me. “I didn’t take her anywhere. I got rid of her the moment we left. After that, I went to the bar across the street, got shitfaced, and passed out.”

That has me whirling back so fast, I’m momentarily dizzy. “You didn’t sleep with her?”

“No.”

“You were free to.” Hot tears burn behind my lids.

“Yes. But I didn’t.” Logan’s grip is urgent, the deep blue of his eyes plead for me to believe him.

“Then why did you do it?” I can’t hide the break in my voice. It makes me angry. At him. At myself. “The whole point was to show Jenna you weren’t a player!” I suck in a lungful of air. “Why did you waste what we did?”

My words echo between us. Logan swallows hard, the thick tendons of his throat visibly twitching.

The silence is interrupted only when I sniffle.Stupid, stupid girl.

He groans as if the sound hurts him, and reaches for me with his other hand. I flinch. He winces at my reaction. But still, he cups my cheek and tips my face up to meet his gaze.

“Rebecca. Honey. I couldn’t stand to pretend anymore. And pretend was all you wanted. I just couldn’t,couldn’t plan,” his spits out, “our breakup, Jenna or no Jenna. And being with you? That wasn’t a waste. Not at all.”

It takes me a second to absorb his words. “It wasn’t?” I ask. Hope is as useful as a leaky lifebuoy.

“No!” He steels his shoulders and draws in a heavy breath. “I’m crazy about you.”

I blink. “You are?” My heart is hammering. I don’t think I heard him right.

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