Page 97 of The Dom with the Kink Monsters

Spider’s spindly arms snuck around Winter’s neck and she sat back, pulling him into her lap. They sat together quietly for a few minutes, then Winter coaxed him up. She sat him on the couch while she got the broom and dustpan, ordering him to stay put so he didn’t cut his feet. He watched her, his face pinched and anxious. When the mess was tidied, she turned back and noticed his expression.

“You’re a good boy, Spider. Everyone breaks things sometimes.” She chucked him under the chin.

“I love you too, Winter. Even if you don’t say it. Daddy told me that the word ‘love’ gives you the creeps.”

“That’s true, but you’re a creepy kid, so I’m allowed to love you.”

Chapter Seventeen

What if no one showed up?

They’d been told that the show was sold out, but Winter kept thinking there’d been a mistake. That they’d get a call saying not to come, that they’d confused them with Divine Gorgon or some other, more popular band.

She and Saya sat next to each other and watched through the coffee shop window as the mechanic changed the tour bus’s tire. Ramsay, Mack and the roadies stood around the guy supportively. If this didn’t go fast they’d be late getting into Toronto. They’d already had to replace a roadie a few days ago because he had a criminal record he’d neglected to mention and couldn’t go over the border. Some days organizing for this was like walking uphill in cold oatmeal in a snowstorm.

“I don’t know if she’s going to last long.” Saya grimaced and nodded out the window to where Tess, the early childhood educator they’d hired for the tour, was walking along the edge of the parking lot with Spider. They were picking dandelions and other weeds and she was helping him identify them from a book about plants. The girl looked like an extra fromLittle House on the Prairieand was about that worldly. Hopefully they wouldn’t scare her too badly.

The private school that had turned Spider away because of what his parents did for a living and because of the band’s reputation, came to mind and made her frown. That was for the best now, though, considering they were touring. Touring on their own instead of as an opening band was making it possible for them to set their own pace.

“She caught Mack kissing me when we went for a stroll behind the coffee shop earlier and I thought she was going to faint.”

“We told her the situation.”

“Yes, but I think maybe she only pretended to understand.”

“Come on, Spider is a kid and he understands.”

Saya laughed. “She’s been very sheltered. My son is also pretty smart.”

“Ourson.” Winter frowned, not believing that she actually had to say the words aloud. Hadn’t she shown them enough that she had been a schmuck about things? “Mack and I might not be on the paperwork, but he’s ours too. If Tess doesn’t work out, I’ll dealwith her.” She’d hired her, so she could fire her. Winter broke a piece off the donut Spider hadn’t liked and popped it in her mouth, hoping they could drop the subject.

“Youreallyaren’t leaving?” Saya chewed on her bottom lip and fiddled with the handle of her coffee mug.

How could she make her understand? Being more direct? “Nope. And if you break up with me I’ll take you to court for visitation.”

Saya burst into tears and Winter patted her awkwardly and shoved some napkins in her direction.

“That came out wrong. I’m sure it will never come to that. You and Ramsay wouldn’t stop us from seeing him. I know that.”

Her girl threw her arms around her neck. “It’s not that. I still wasn’t sure. I mean, I knew you really seem to like him, but I kept waiting for you to say it was too much. Like when he was sick a few weeks ago and kept waking us up.”

She and Saya had been zombies, taking turns sitting up with him, while Spider had gotten over the flu. Then Winter and Ramsay had caught it. Spider had been the only one in the family who’d “read” her picture books and snuck her chocolate in bed. Just looking at his little face made her smile, even when she’d felt like total crap.

“I didn’t know how it would be.” Winter shrugged. The warm feeling that she got whenever she thought of Spider filled her. “I knew he’d be work and gross stuff, and we’d have no privacy, and all that. I didn’t know how it would feel when he called for me when he had a nightmare, or when he held my hand at the park. How could I have known that? It’s so different when it’s your own kid’s snot.”

Saya’s dewy eyes shone. “It’s true. You really do love him.” She let go of Winter’s neck and kissed her full on the lips, oblivious to the thumbs-up the trucker waiting at the front counter gave them.

*

It was no mistake. The place was huge and it was fucking packed. Polson Pier was the biggest venue they’d played, and Winter felt like she was going to puke. She paced until a blister started on her heel. They had barely arrived in time, but they’d been on stage together so often now that they didn’t need half a day to psych themselves up anymore. It wasn’t like they wore elaborate costumes, other than Saya’s new Lolita dress, which theguys had proven came off easily enough. They’d stripped her as soon as they’d arrived, and laid her across their laps.

Ramsay held her down by the throat while Mack finger fucked her. The sounds of her distress soon had Winter moving closer, watching, but she didn’t join in. Her anxiety wouldn’t let her relax.

What if she fucked up every song? This wasn’t Sprawl, where people would forgive their mistakes. This was huge. Visions of them getting booed off the stage or having bottles pelted at them intruded repeatedly into her thoughts. Some of the audience would be fans, but some were probably just there out of curiosity. A venue this big was the next step on the rung, and if they blew it, they might not go much further.

As soon as they let her up, Saya came to her, begging for mercy. “Please, Winter. They don’t understand. I’m too close to coming, I won’t be able to sing.” She rubbed against her like a cat that needed attention. “Please!”

“My poor girl. Did our bad men make you suffer?” Her anxiety was forgotten as Saya kissed at her mouth, trying to lure Winter into easing her. “You sing more prettily when you’re horny. It’s good for you.”

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