“Obviously, the band needs to discuss it before we get back to you.” Winter gave him her mid-level Ice Queen glower.

Luther went back to the bar to grab a pitcher and Law sent a staff member for chairs. They sat around shooting the shit with the guy for a while. He was decent to talk to, as they discussed musical influences, concert details and contract information. Ramsay was pleased that he seemed to respect them.

After about an hour, he took his leave, and Law and Luther split to help their staff close up for the night.

“Well that was fucking wicked.” Mack grinned, his cool façade having dissolved as soon as the band was alone.

Saya smiled back. “Even if we decide not to do it, it’s a huge compliment. He saw us on YouTube and came hunting for us. I mean, they could have just called, but he came in person.”

“He probably wanted to see if we were any good,” Winter said. “It wouldn’t do for him to call and make us an offer then find out you two were lip synching or something.” She pulled Saya in for a kiss and the two of them got lost in each other almost immediately.

“Decide not to do it?” Mack asked, going back to what Saya had said. “Considering what the offer is, we’d be idiots not to accept. Your uncle will give you the time off work to go, won’t he, Ramsay? Cross would never deny Winter this kind of opportunity, and my work is portable.”

Saya broke away from Winter’s lips and groaned at the interruption she, herself, had just imposed on their activities. “We have other things to think about too now. We just sent the authorities looking for Bronwyn. If she doesn’t cooperate, we’re going to end upgetting temporary custody of Spider. He just started in preschool and I’m not about to drag him all over hell’s half acre already. He needs some stability.”

Winter frowned. “So ask Emma if she and Donny will watch him for a few months. We can’t miss out on this kind of opportunity because Ramsay’s sister is a crappy parent.” Winter had let go of Saya, anger making the lines of her body stiff. She grabbed the t-shirt she’d discarded earlier in the evening and pulled it on.

“He’s our responsibility,” Ramsay objected. “We’re not going to pawn him off on some other family member. The poor kid is screwed up enough already – he doesn’t need us abandoning him, too. He doesn’t understand the concept of ‘a while.’ Even when we have a gig and we’re gone for a few hours, he starts to panic.”

Winter turned away and stuffed some things into her bag. “This was exactly what I talked to you guys about. If you weren’t serious about getting this band off the ground, you should never have answered the fucking ad. Passing up an opportunity like this is like career suicide. We’ve been handed a good break on a silver platter and you’re going insist we turn it down?”

“Maybe you can find another drummer and backup singer, just for the tour,” Saya whispered. Tears had come and she wiped them away impatiently, although the thickness of her voice left no question about how she was feeling. Ramsay went to her and put an arm around her, but she pushed him away when he tried to hug her. “Or Ramsay can go with you and I’ll stay back with Spider.”

Ramsay was torn. On the one hand, there were no guarantees they’d ever get another chance like this. It was his life’s work, more than fixing cars had ever been, but to leave Saya behind to clean up the mess Bronwyn had made of her life wasn’t fair. To leave Saya behind, at all, was like plunging his own hand into his chest and ripping out his heart. As much as he’d grown to care for Mack and Winter, his first loyalty was to Saya. Forever.

Then there was Spider. The boy needed a parent and however it had happened, for now, that was him.

Mack gnawed on his lip. “You’re not a backup singer. Without you, I don’t think we can go forward, Saya. This band is just as much about you as it is about the rest of us now.”

“I can’t see any way to make this work. I just can’t go right now.” A pall was cast over Ramsay’s hopes and plans for the future. He was going to have to let them go. Holding them back wasn’t fair. “Take Saya. I’ll stay behind and get things settled with Spider. You can replace me easily enough. I’m sure there are dozens of good drummersthat’ll jump at the chance to go with you and make a name for themselves. I’m sorry I can’t drop everything and go, but the little guy deserves better than to have me take off on him.”

“I can’t go without you, Master!” Saya was sobbing and came to him to bury her face in his chest. Warm tears mixed with his dried sweat and trickled down his stomach to the damp waistband of his jeans. He was itchy and uncomfortable, and just wanted a shower.

He stroked Saya’s hair. “They need you, princess. I’ll come see you guys play sometimes, when I can book time off and get a sitter for Spider. Maybe if he settles in, I could come out for a weekend. We’ll see. And if he goes back to my sister...” His throat seized up thinking about it. “If Bronwyn takes him back, I’ll meet up with the three of you and we can give the new drummer the boot.”

Winter screamed in rage and spun, throwing a beer bottle against the far wall. It smashed into a trillion glistening shards. “This wasn’t supposed to get this fucking complicated!”

“What?” Ramsay let go of Saya and went to her cautiously, not interested in getting a bottle flung at his head. “You can still go. I’m not standing in the way of that. I’m sure Saya will see that you need her. I trust you and Mack to take care of her when I’m not around.” The last words sounded strangled, even to his own ears. He did trust them to take care of her, but the prospect of losing them all for half a year was like the longest and bleakest fucking hallway he’d ever looked down. There’d be plenty of time to bond with Spider, when he had no submissives to distract him, but it would be a lonely time. “We can Skype.”

“It’s not Saya I’m worried about, dipshit.Idon’t want to be away from you for that long.”

The two of them stared at each other silently for a moment, then she came to him, wrapping her arms around him like he was floating debris after a shipwreck. His breath caught in his throat. Now she came to him with this?

Fuck. His chest ached. Admitting that she didn’t want them to be separated must have been difficult. Feelings he knew she wouldn’t approve of bubbled up. He’d been pushing that warmth and admiration down for a while. Winter wasn’t a mushy girl, and feelings seemed to freak her out, so he’d been respectful of that. But there was no question that he loved her.

“We’ll figure this out.” Mack and Saya both came over and joined them, fitting themselves in on either side, their arms sliding around to hold on, too. Mack’s lips grazedRamsay’s jaw line.

Ramsay turned his head and kissed Mack with all the loneliness and longing building up inside him.

How did a man with so many people to love end up with no one left?

Chapter Fifteen

“You guys have to go.” Ramsay was turning into a broken record. Spider had climbed onto his lap and was currently scaling his torso, trying to get onto his head. The only reaction Ramsay had to being the boy’s jungle gym was he held out an arm now and again to be the boy’s safety net if he fell.

“We’re not going, Ramsay. I don’t care what you threaten us with for later, if we can’t take this on together, it’s not the right opportunity for us.” By morning Winter had become adamant, and Mack was proud of her for deciding that staying together was more important than getting ahead.

As for himself, he hadn’t been sure about what to do at first. After thinking about it, it became obvious that each of them was important enough to the band that replacing even one with an outsider would throw off the balance and the chemistry would disappear. Relationship-wise things were even more critical. They each had a role in keeping the others happy and content. Sure, there was always the option for him and Winter to break off with Ramsay and Saya, but they had so much fun together that it seemed like a crazy idea to end things. It was so much more now, too.