Page 93 of Under an Endless Moon

So fuckin’ weak that I was a second away from going to her. Pushing into the places only a monster would go.

I’d promised I’d never hurt her, but fuck, that was exactly what this felt like.

Like I was hurting her.

Betraying her.

I dropped my face into my palms, trying to fight off the conflict that waged inside.

Heart and mind and soul.

Feeling like a piece of shit, I forced myself to turn off the lights, get undressed, and grab the throw blanket from the basket.

I just laid there on the couch, staring at the ghosts that writhed across the ceiling, unable to fucking sleep.

Wide awake and bleeding out.

Hours must have passed before I heard it.

Her cry from the depths of depravity.

There was no mistaking what was happening this time.

Her pain was so stark it was the only thing that I could feel.

There was nothing I could do. No wall or mountain or fucking cavern high or deep enough to keep me from going to her.

And I was there, crawling into the bed and pulling her into my arms, whispering her name over and over, “Raven, Raven, Raven.”

She jolted when I first touched her, then her whole body gave when she realized it was me.

She whimpered as she clung to me with trembling arms. “Otto. Please. Don’t leave me. Stay with me.”

A fucking army couldn’t have ripped me away.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. My moonflower.” I murmured it at her head as I pressed a bunch of kisses to her crown.

A shaky sigh of relief pilfered from her, and when I laid down with her in my arms, her heart beating its trust against mine, I should have known things would never be the same.

I should have known this girl would be my complete undoing.

Should have known there would be absolutely no going back.

Because she whispered, “Otto, I need you to touch me. Please. Don’t turn me away. I need to know what it’s like.”

TWENTY-SIX

RAVEN

My petition was chokedand small, but I meant it with every fiber of my being.

I needed him to hear it.

I needed him to show me that I didn’t have to be vulnerable. That I didn’t have to feel small or insignificant. That I didn’t have to be subject to the fetters that kept me bound.

I needed to know I could be free.

Free in him.

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