Page 54 of Under an Endless Moon

Loss.

Love.

Did my best to tuck back what all of them really meant as she snuggled closer to me. “I want to be brave, Otto, but sometimes I think…”

She trailed off, going silent, her breaths long and choppy in the quiet night that billowed around us.

My arms curled tighter around her to bring her flush.

Heat flamed at the connection, but I ignored it, focused on whatwas important and not the distorted need I didn’t think I’d ever get free of.

“You are brave. So goddamn brave. Look at you, the way you smile and shine all your beauty into this world. Spreading joy like it’s gushing out of you. It’s a better fuckin’ place because of you, Raven Tayte.”

I could feel her long blink, the girl pressed so tight into me her lashes brushed my chest. “Sometimes I wonder if it will ever go away. The pain. If I’ll ever truly heal.”

I exhaled a weighty breath. “No, Raven, I doubt the things we go through ever fully go away. They scar us and mark us forever. It’s how we handle those scars that define us.”

Mine had festered under the callused surface. Fermented until the best parts of me had become spoiled.

But not Raven.

“And you, Moonflower, through all the horrible shit you’ve had to endure. Through the abuse. Through living on the streets. Through…” I croaked off the last. I was unable to give it voice—that moment that had crushed us both. Still, I managed, “In the darkest night, you bloomed.”

I could feel her sinking into me.

Giving me her trust.

Except I knew that I’d always had it.

Knew she’d always thought of me as her safe place.

I’d made an oath to myself that’s what I’d always be. I’d always be there for her. Her support. A promise that I’d never fucking hurt her, and I’d crush anyone who did.

Which meant I damned sure shouldn’t be allowing myself to get this close, but I found I couldn’t tear myself away.

Not when I could feel that she needed me to hold her up right then.

Not because she was weak.

But because we all needed someone sometimes. Needed the support and the belief.

Raven edged back enough so that she could peekup at me, so goddamn pretty she ripped the breath straight out of my lungs. “You’ve lost so much, too, Otto, and look at you.”

She saw the exterior, though. The parts that remained unscathed. My loyalty for this family. My devotion. The way I joked and teased and didn’t hide the fact that I was all about the pleasure.

But that was surface. What I let everyone see.

It was all the vile bits that I kept hidden. But I had a hunch she wasn’t ignorant of those ugly pieces inside me.

“You want to tell me about that dream?” I asked, diverting the subject back to her where it belonged, though I was unsure if I could handle knowing what monsters followed her into the night. If I was responsible for them. If she saw the same damned thing I did whenever I closed my eyes.

She chewed at her bottom lip, and her gaze darkened as she was taken back to that place. The words were carved in harrowing secrets. “It’s always the same, and I’m always right back in that room where my father terrorized me. Just a little girl who had no strength. No voice.”

A skitter of rage ripped through my being. I wondered if she could feel it. The pulse of it where our flesh was pressed together.

It was the same dream she’d been having all that time.

Since she was little.

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