Page 225 of Under an Endless Moon

“How the fuck is that even possible?” he wheezed, hands going to his head as he attempted to deal with the blow. “That asshole has been missing for seven years.”

Gideon, Brek, and Lye had all been missing that whole time. I’d hunted them, and it’d taken me forever to sniff them out. The few clues I’d found not enough to fully unearth them.

I’d gone to Cash when I’d gotten desperate.

Played it a game, though he’d known all along.

He’d given me what I’d needed to take care of Brek and Lye, but Gideon had remained elusive.

Disappearing without a trace.

And now he was here.

“Need to tell you something,” I grated, pushing the words out around the razors that lined my throat.

River glared at me, cagey as all fuck, though he was uttering low, “Tell me what the hell is going on, Otto. No more fuckin’ lies.”

I scraped my fingers through the short pieces of my hair, barely able to speak, just knowing I had to get Raven back. Bile gathered in my throat. “I’ve been hunting them,” I admitted, words gravel.

Shocked confusion knitted his brow. Alarm rushed in behind it. “What do you mean, you’ve been huntin’ them?”

“Couldn’t let them get away with what they did to Haddie. With what they did to Raven. Ferreted out two of them. Brek and Lye. Put them in the ground.”

“You did what?” His disbelief was abraded, the full scope of what I’d been doing becoming clear.

I pressed on. “Couldn’t find a trace of Gideon.”

But he’d obviously found me.

River blinked while Kane buried a curse in the fist he pressed to his mouth like it was the only thing that would keep the torrent of his anger from rushing out.

“Without us?” River pressed. “Without letting us in on it? You’re supposed to be our family, Otto.”

My head shook before the confession started spilling out, seven years of grief and torment woven in the words.

“He killed my sister, River. He stole the one person I was supposed to protect. I couldn’t drag you all into it. Not when I was doing it out of revenge and not for Sanctum. Not when it was done out of hate and not for the sole reason of protecting someone. It was on me to seek justice for her. For them.”

My voice snagged on the last, sure he’d know exactly what I meant.

His sister was included, and my hatred had extended to what they’d done to her.

He winced, and I continued, voice low as I angled his way, “Going behind the club was wrong. I know it. I should have just told you, but I couldn’t risk getting you involved. Know you’d be on your bikes ina second flat. You’d all moved beyond it, beyond that life, beyond the immorality and wickedness, and I’ve been fucking stuck there.”

I sucked in a distraught breath.

“Stuck seven years ago. In that moment when I failed my sister. In that moment when I’d tried to retaliate but instead it was me who was about to be buried. In that moment when I was saved for God knows what reason except to be able to take these monsters down.”

My chest tightened with the onslaught of emotions. With the truth that had come to fruition over the last month. One that I’d been avoiding for so long but wouldn’t ignore anymore.

“In that time when I broke your sister’s heart because I thought it was the right thing to do. Because I thought I couldn’t give her the life she deserved. Because I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. And fuck, I’m not…don’t think there’s a man alive who’s good enough for how amazing she is, but I’m going to spend every one of my days trying to be. Trying to be good enough for her. Trying to give herthatlife she deserves. Whatevershewants it to be.”

River dropped his gaze to the porch. Tension wound through every muscle in his body.

Could barely swallow as I forced the words up my throat. “I love her, River. I love her so fuckin’ much. I’ve fought that love for seven years, and the only thing it did was hurt her, and you can hate me for it, but I refuse to fight this love for a second longer. We’re going to get her back, then I’m never going to let her go.”

I felt the weight of Charleigh’s presence when she stepped into the doorway. Tears blanketed her cheeks, and she hugged herself across her middle.

“We have to,” I reiterated, looking at her, a silent promise that I wasn’t going to let this bastard hurt her.

---