“I’m perfectly fine ogling your brother.”
I pushed her shoulder. “Eww. I do not need the reminder. You both are lucky I didn’t go blind. That bleach was painful.”
Charleigh giggled before her demeanor softened, and she knocked her arm into mine, my best friend eyeing me in care and curiosity. “Don’t think I missed that you said that man is yours…”
I sighed. “I want him to be. That is if he could ever get over this whole idea that he isn’t good enough for me. He keeps saying these things, implying that he’s a bad man and I don’t really know him.”
Worry infiltrated. It was the part I didn’t get. Ididknow him. I knew the casualness he wore like armor and the pain he held beneath it. I knew his grief and his loss. I knew his joy and his belief.
Charleigh’s brow knitted in uncertainty, though she kind of shrugged as she speculated. “I think they all have a sense that there is something wrong about what they do. I don’t see how they couldn’t…the things they’ve seen, the things they’ve partaken in. It doesn’t matter that it’s for good, it’s still bound to scar them in some way. Plus…you know it was really bad when they were a part of the MC.”
Her words deepened in sympathy and dread. “In the end, they’re still criminals. They still have blood on their hands. River was terrified of letting me in. Of loving me. Afraid of what his involvement in Sovereign Sanctum could mean for me.”
“Yeah, and look what it didmeanfor you. It meant you found everything you’d lost. You found your family. How could that ever be bad?”
Charleigh’s head barely shook, and her gaze filled with compassion. “They all have their demons.”
I chewed at my bottom lip as I glanced back across the street. Even in the distance, I could tell that River and Otto were speaking in hushed, secreted tones.
I turned back to my bestie. “I’m worried that there’s more. That he’s hiding something. But you can’t tell River that I told you that.”
I would never betray Otto that way.
Concern twisted through her expression before she seemed to land on a resolution. “I think everyone has secrets, Raven. We eachhave things we hide because we’re ashamed of them or afraid of them or worried they’re going to hurt the people we love.”
My spirit shivered. I understood it intimately. The truth that some things couldn’t be shared.
Guilt bottled in my throat, but I swallowed around it and gave her a shaky smile. “Yeah. I know. It’s human nature. I just want him to see past it. See me and who we could be and not let anything stand in our way.”
I inhaled a deep breath. “He says he wants to fight for me, Charleigh, and I want him to fight for me. For all of it. That is, if he wants me that way.”
A bit of insecurity rippled in, my stomach sick with the idea that maybe he didn’t feel the same.
That maybe what had happened between us was purely superficial. Brought on by stress. Or worse, pity.
Charleigh blinked. “Are you crazy? Have you seen the way that man looks at you? He goes completely rabid. I think he has to restrain himself from tossing you over his shoulder and carrying you to his bed every time he sees you. I honestly don’t know how River doesn’t know or hasn’t noticed. Otto’s entire being shifts whenever you come into the room. You’re his gravity, Raven.”
In emphasis, she squeezed my wrist. “I promise you, this is not one-sided.”
Nervously, I chewed at my bottom lip. “And what about River?”
A tiny flicker of annoyance washed through her features. “I love that man with every fiber of my being, but it’s time that he views you as who you really are. A resilient, brave, capable woman who gets to make her own choices.”
Her gaze deepened as she angled around to make sure I was in her line of sight. “You are the only one who can decide how you live, Raven.”
“I know. The only problem is getting the rest of these overprotective bobbleheads to accept it.” I tossed it out like a tease.
“The only question here is exactly how my amazing bestie is going to get Otto to accept it?”
“By my sexual prowess, of course.” I let a dose of lightness wind into my voice. “Operation seduce Otto Hudson is officially in full force.”
Charleigh giggled. “Oh, the poor man isn’t going to know what hit him.”
“I plan on bringing him to his knees. I mean, not that he wasn’t already on them for me.”
I wagged my brows at her.
She choked over a laugh. “Oh, I can only imagine. You’re going to have that man crawling for you.”