Page 27 of Blown

That’s what he told himself, but Jake knew he’d screwed up big-time. His heart raced so fast that his chest hurt.

Rafe followed them to the furnace and gave more sedate instructions to the kids as they gathered glass for pulling cane themselves. He was adamant about them following every little safety instruction he could think of, but Jake was too impatient to follow those rules.

“Who wants to give it a go with me?” he called out once he’d gathered some glass and taken it to the marvering table.

“Me! Me!” several of the kids called out.

They had fun. Jake had always loved pulling cane. It was one of the easiest things you could do in glassblowing, but it was still exciting. He spent a good fifteen minutes laughing and having a great time with the kids…and ignoring Rafe’s glares as he did.

It was Corning all over again. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from doing something he knew would be entertaining and that would make the largest number of people like him. It didn’t matter who he upstaged or offended in the process. Having all those teenagers think he was cool and wanting to work with him was exactly what that younger version of himselfhad craved. It was balm to one part of his soul even though he knew it was poison to another.

Why was it all so wrong? Why did everything hurt? He just wanted to be accepted. He just wanted to be loved. The ache only seemed to grow larger and colder the more he did to make Rafe’s students love him. It was like a sugar rush, but it wasn’t nourishing. The thing that he really needed was Rafe’s love and acceptance.

But as he made an ass of himself by swinging a half-molten cane around to show how gravity affected glass, Rafe shook his head and turned away.

NINE

He should have known.A cheetah didn’t change its spots. He should have protected his feelings from Jake from the start. That way, the attention-seeking bastard wouldn’t have gotten under his skin so much.

Rafe stomped over to the side of the hot shop where the pieces of glass he and Jake had made rested and opened the window so he could breathe. He couldn’t walk away from his class filled with teenagers entirely, but he damn well needed a break from Jake’s massive ego.

He didn’t even get that, though.

“You okay?” Jake asked, approaching him once all his students were busy in various phases of pulling cane.

Rafe turned to fix Jake with a stare that said of course he wasn’t okay.

“You’re mad at me,” Jake said as if Rafe had made his answer verbally, his shoulders drooping. They snapped taut a moment later as Jake inched closer to him. “I know I’ve messed up,” he said in a quick whisper, “but they all seem to know what they’re doing. Pulling cane is fun and easy. You have to let them give it a go.”

“Are you telling me how to teach my class now?” Rafe demanded, swaying closer to him.

Damn Jake to hell, but even when he was beyond annoyed with the man he felt drawn to him. It was unfair how appealing the man was covered in a sheen of sweat, his face pink from working with glass straight out of the furnace.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said. He glanced back over his shoulder at the kids, then looked at Rafe again. “I have actually taught classes like this before.”

“Have you?” Rafe asked tightly. “Or is that just another one of your lies?”

He felt bad as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but the question had to be asked.

“I really have taught classes,” Jake said with enough seriousness in his eyes to convince Rafe he was telling the truth. “It’s been a while, and I’ll confess, I wasn’t very good at it. I don’t have the kind of patience you do. But I have done this before. Trust me.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than there was a loud crash of glass breaking from where the kids were working.

“Uh oh. Mr. Hawthorne!” Amy called out.

Rafe sent Jake one last look, knowing the conversation was far from over, before striding over to address the long column of shattered cane across the floor.

“I didn’t try to break it,” John said, watching in panic as Rafe came over to see the mess. “Everything was going so well and then it just shattered.”

Jake wandered over as well, but now that there was a problem, everyone, including Jake, looked to Rafe to know what to do.

“This is why I want you all to master basic cane pulling before you move on to creating twisted cane,” he said, glancing at Jake,who was the one who really needed the lesson. “You need to master straight pulling before trying the twist.”

“You’re right, Mr. Hawthorne,” Jake said looking suitably penitent.

Rafe couldn’t tell if he was making fun of him or not. The students looked sorry enough, and that was all that mattered.

“Let’s clean this up and then we’ll take a few steps back and work on regular old non-twisty cane pulling,” he said. “If I see you’ve mastered that, you can move on to twists.”

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