Page 57 of Forged

“Now is not the time to have this conversation,” he sighed, bouncing Macy in his arms and rubbing her back as she calmed a bit more. “How about you go wait on that side of the room and Macy and I will wait here, and we’ll sort this mess some other time.”

“Give me the baby,” Mrs. Turner said, trying to reach around Bax’s arms to take Macy.

“No,” Bax said, turning to shield Macy from her.

It was stubborn of him, but the fact that Macy clung to him and tried to avoid her granny helped him to feel like it was a good idea.

Mrs. Turner gave up when the nurse who had stopped her from following Nick earlier came out of the corridor and called her name. She abandoned her struggle for Macy in a hurry, leaving Bax to soothe and settle the little girl all over again.

“Mrs. Turner, Jordan has a deep cut across his hand,” the nurse said, just barely loud enough for Bax to hear. “The area has been cleaned and numbed, and we’re just waiting for the doctor to come and give him stitches.”

That was all Bax needed to hear. He turned away as Mrs. Turner fired more angry questions at the nurse, but he was satisfied with the treatment Jordan was getting.

“There you go,” he told Macy in a sing-song voice that was probably all wrong to use with toddlers. “Big brother is going to be alright.”

Macy went from crying to sniffling and moaning as Bax walked her over to a large window that looked out on a tiny garden and the road beyond. He positioned himself so Macy could watch the traffic and activity around the hospital as she plunked her head on his shoulder and gradually grew heavier. Within a few minutes, she was asleep.

Bax finally had three seconds to breathe and catch up with the situation he was in. That didn’t make him feel better, though. It kind of made him feel worse.

What the hell was he doing? The last place on earth he would have expected to be on the night of Ostara was in A&E with a toddler sleeping in his arms while his boyfriend’s mother argued with the hospital’s staff. He should have been at a celebration, at Callum’s celebration, drinking and laughing and giving thanks for the spring. He should have been warming up for a night of adult fun and abandon, not just as a way of honoring fertility, but to connect with the man he loved.

This wasn’t the life he was meant for. Sure, he loved Macy and Jordan. He would have even if he wasn’t in love with Nick. They were Raina’s kids, his family. He loved Nick more and more with every day, but loving him wasn’t as simple as the movies made it out to be.

A part of him argued that love meant changing parts of who you were to fit with the person you loved, but he wasn’t sure if that was real or just something cute that could be put in a meme. It didn’t seem like a great idea to subvert who he was for the sake of someone else. That couldn’t possibly be a good idea.

So where did that leave him?

It left him with a toddler asleep in his arms while he looked out a hospital window at rushing traffic on Ostara instead of celebrating with friends.

“Hey.”

Bax wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Nick’s quiet greeting shook him out of his thoughts. He turned, and his heart throbbed in his chest for a moment at the sight of his lover, exhausted, wan, and holding a sound asleep Jordan in his arms. Jordan’s entire forearm was bound, with only the tips of his fingers poking out from the bandage securing his hand.

Despite all his misgivings, Bax melted a little at the sight. Nick was such a great dad, which made him a great person, which sent Bax’s heart soaring. Who would have thought a guy could look so sexy with dark circles under his eyes and spots of dried blood on the sleeve of his shirt?

“How is he?” Bax asked, brushing his free hand over Jordan’s hair.

“Traumatized,” Nick said with a sigh. “Probably more from Mum’s carrying on than from the stitches.”

“Where is your mum, by the way?” Bax asked, looking around.

Nick humphed. “She called a cab to take her home when I told her I didn’t need her help.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Bax said.

Nick winced. “Could be worse. I think she was as tired as these two by the end.”

“Do you need me to drive home?” Bax asked, realizing just how exhausted Nick was.

Nick looked like he would refuse, then blew out a breath, his shoulders sagging. “Alright,” he said.

They turned to go. Nick fished around in his pocket for his keys and handed them over to Bax. Everyone was tired. What was supposed to be a family-friendly Ostara celebration hadturned into an incredibly crappy night. Instead of a picnic, the next day would probably be filled with taking care of Jordan and assessing how to fix the unicorn.

None of it was what Bax wanted to do, but at the same time, he didn’t want to do anything else. He didn’t want the whole, messy situation he’d fallen into to exist at all. But there was no way to fix what was already broken. He would either have to give up what he wanted to make Nick happy or leave…which would make them both miserable.

EIGHTEEN

In the weeksright after Raina’s death, Nick had been completely numb. It was strange and uncomfortable to have a moment that you could point to, a specific, neon moment, when everything in your life changed. He had his life before Raina and now after.

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