Page 48 of Forged

“Silly,” Bax said, making the single word into the sexiest thing Nick had ever heard.

That could also have had something to do with the way Bax kissed him once it was spoken. The kiss was so powerful that Nick leaned back against the nearest table and widened his stance so Bax could plaster himself against him and so their mouths were closer to the same level. He kissed Bax in return, letting all his worries go and just enjoying the moment.

“You are enough for me,” Bax said breathlessly when their kiss ended. “Everything else is just stuff that needs to be worked out.”

“Are you sure?” Nick asked.

“Yes, love, I am,” Bax said, then kissed him again.

Nick wrapped his arms around him and gave him the best kiss he could manage. It wasn’t time or attention, but it was the best he could do in the moment.

Strangely, it felt like enough. It was a tiny seed that made him confident that he could give Bax more. He wanted to give Bax more…somehow. There had to be a way to make that happen.

FIFTEEN

He could do this.As March wore on, Bax was certain he could ignore all the other stresses and pressures surrounding him and Nick to build a meaningful, lasting relationship. The two of them were so compatible on so many levels. The more they got to know each other, the more it was clear they had the same sense of humor, the same love of nature, and the same outlook on the world. Nick respected his beliefs and showed interest in learning about them, and he was dynamite in bed, no matter what he thought about himself.

That was possibly the best surprise of those early days of their relationship. For a man who didn’t think he was particularly sensual and who had zero experience with other men before Bax came along, Nick was everything he craved in a sexual partner. His inexperience made him eager to please, which meant he held nothing back. There were a few times when Bax had been worried they would break the bed with their energy. Every time Nick apologized for accidentally leaving bruises, Bax assured him that he loved it.

But there were other, little things that started to creep in and ruin what should have been an amazing time in theirrelationship. That morning when Nick had rushed out of Bax’s bed because his kids woke up wasn’t a one-time occurrence. In fact, it quickly got to the point where they didn’t bother trying to make love in the morning because the kids would inevitably call Nick away.

Then things reached a point where Nick decided it wasn’t such a great idea for him to spend the entire night in Blaine’s bed after all.

“You’re more than welcome to join me over at mine,” he said as he balanced himself over Bax a few minutes after they’d finished, once the snuggly afterglow had worn off. “I wouldn’t say no to a guest in that big, cold bed.”

Bax grinned up at him reaching up to caress Nick’s face. His tired heart was heavy, though. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” Nick said, lowering his big, strong body over Bax’s so that he could kiss him and press their flesh together.

It was one of those head-spinning kisses that Bax loved, and even though he’d just come not ten minutes before, his cock was starting to perk up again.

Until Nick pushed himself up again and said, “Of course, you’d have to have pajamas. Jordan can get out of his crib and has been wandering into my room lately. I think Macy is just about to figure out how to get free, too. They could show up in bed between us at any second, so pajamas are a necessity and canoodling is probably out.”

Bax blew out a breath and sagged. “I might stay here, then,” he said, still trying to smile. “I’m knackered anyhow. I think I’ll just sleep.”

Nick’s face pinched for a second, like he was well aware of the problem that kept wedging its way between them. He didn’t say anything about it, though. They both knew the middle of the night, just after sex, wasn’t the time to address the elephant in the room.

That elephant would have to be addressed at some point, Bax knew. He could do this, he could have a relationship with a sexy, single father, but as time wore on and he spent more nights sleeping alone, his positive mantra grew more and more strained.

“You look a bit tired,” Callum told him a week before Ostara, when the two of them ran into each other in the front hall of Hawthorne House. “Staying up late with your man?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Bax laughed, but he wasn’t amused by the question.

“I’ve just had a lot of work lately,” he said, rubbing his face in a bid to shake the tired off. “Who would have thought it was so difficult to get an LGBTQ-supporting accounting firm off the ground?”

“Oh!” Callum perked up. “Are you starting your own firm? Do you need clients? Because I’m part of the Surrey and Kent LGBTQ Small Business Association, and I can think of loads of people who would be happy as Larry to hire one of our own to service all their accounting needs.”

A swoop of dread pooled in Bax’s stomach. He’d deliberately avoided asking Callum for help because of Nick’s insecurities. But here Callum was, offering him what could be a golden opportunity to make his dream business a success.

Instinct and the part of him that cared deeply for Nick and didn’t want to do anything to hurt him warned him not to take Callum up on his offer. But another, older part of him urged him to accept the help. Three months ago, he would have leapt at Callum’s offer without hesitation. The man he’d been when he and Damien split, when he committed to starting this new life, wouldn’t have waited or let someone else’s feelings interfere with what could be a vital business decision.

It felt a little too much like Nick was holding him back. In more ways than one.

“Yeah,” Bax said at last, giving up his moral struggle and opting to pretend it was purely a business decision. “I’d love your help with the business association.”

“Excellent,” Callum said, clapping a hand on Bax’s shoulder. “I’ll send you a message with the link to the association, and if you give me your information, I’ll pass it along to a few blokes I know.”

“I appreciate it,” Bax said, shoulders dropping. Callum’s hand still rested on one of his shoulders, and it felt like a weight of defeat.

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