Page 13 of Decorated

Blaine’s smile faltered, and he let go of Alfie’s arm. “Kinda, yeah. We went out a few times, had some fun. I liked him and wanted more, but I was just a snack to him.”

Alfie grunted. That brought Blaine’s smile back. Everything he had learned about Alfie so far said he was more than just a solid block of muscle without a brain, but that didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate a protective grunt when he heard it.

“Smarmy little bastard, isn’t he,” Alfie said.

Blaine snorted. “You have no idea. He buttered me up and tossed me out when he got what he wanted.”

It was supposed to be a light comment, a joke, but it settled sourly in Blaine’s gut. Actually, Charlie, and a dozen other guys like him, had dented his confidence in so many ways. Was there something wrong with him that made guys want to bang him but not keep him? Or was he just so desperate to make a connection with someone that he would settle for the physical instead of trying for what he really wanted?

He scrambled for a distraction that would get him as far away from those depressing thoughts as possible.

“Ooh, Burberry,” he said as they passed the store. He let go of Alfie’s arm and moved right up to one of the windows, where an amazing, wool peacoat was on display with a signature Burberry scarf. “My favorite.”

Alfie almost walked on, but he stopped and turned back, joining Blaine at the window. “Do you want to go in and shop?” he asked. “I noticed you didn’t put on a coat when we left. Do you need to buy one?”

Blaine sighed, going so far as to lift a hand and place it longingly on the window. He’d left the house without a coat because he was in such a rush to be with Alfie. Standing at the Burberry window now, he felt like a kid looking in at a pile of toys, knowing he couldn’t have them.

“No,” he said after thinking about it. “Despite my taste in Christmas baubles, I really can’t afford it right now.”

He didn’t think much about that statement until Alfie asked, “Does this have something to do with your design business folding?”

Heat and yet more embarrassment flooded Blaine. “Yeah,” he sighed, stepping back from the window and continuing on with Alfie to where they’d parked.

“So no money for fancy things this year?” Alfie asked on.

Blaine shrugged slightly and thrust his hands into the pockets of his ordinary coat. “Not until I find another job or start another company.”

And not until he was certain Dave wouldn’t sue him for every cent he might potentially make for destroying their business.

Remembering Dave’s wrath had him standing a little taller and glancing around in case Dave had somehow followed him into the city. He was going to have to pay the piper for his egregious carelessness at some point, but he desperately prayed Alfie wouldn’t be there to witness his humiliation when he did.

“We need to get this haul back to Hawthorne House and put in a few hours on decorating the big tree,” he said once they reached Alfie’s car. They’d taken his car because, like Alfie himself, it was bigger.

He hadn’t said anything for nearly five minutes as they’d walked to the spot where they’d parked. Alfie hadn’t said anything either, but Blaine was certain he’d wanted to.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop at Asda on the way home to pick up a few other ornaments?” Alfie asked with a straight face and dancing eyes once he’d put the Harrod’s bags in the boot.

Blaine got a thrill from the way Alfie was looking at him, especially now that he knew Alfie was gay. Or was he? Maybe saying he was his boyfriend was double pretend.

“You’re actually gay, right?” he asked as they stood behind the car.

The corner of Alfie’s mouth twitched. “Does me wanting to shop at Asda make me gay?”

“Quite the opposite, I’d say,” Blaine replied, breaking into a genuine smile.

They headed for the car doors, and once they’d gotten in and Alfie started the engine, he said, “I am actually gay. Always have been, as far as I remember.”

“Is that why you joined the military?” Blaine asked, fastening his seatbelt. “To be around a bunch of other men?”

“No, I joined the military to serve my country,” Alfie said as he backed out of the space and started on their way home.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Blaine blurted, his face burning with embarrassment.

“Yeah, you did,” Alfie replied with a smile.

Blaine covered his face with his hands. “You’re making me feel bad.”

“Why feel bad?” Alfie asked as he navigated traffic. At least that meant he wasn’t looking directly at Blaine for their humiliating conversation.

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