Page 30 of Painted

“Thank you,” Early blurted breathlessly, no idea what you were supposed to say to the man who had just taken your virginity without knowing it, especially since they might just have changed their mind about wanting to have sex halfway through, but had been unable to tell him.

Rhys must have sensed their tension. He stopped his caressing and lifted his head to ask, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Early lied. “That was amazing. You were amazing.” They felt like they were parroting the things they were supposed to say.

“Are you sure?” Clearly, Rhys wasn’t buying it.

“I am,” Early sighed, fighting to sound like they meant it, but slipping closer to tears as they did. “I’m…I’m just really tired now. Will you hold me while we fall asleep?”

“Of course,” Rhys said tenderly.

They settled in together, though instead of getting more relaxed, like Rhys did as he fell asleep, Early grew more and more tense.

They’d made a huge mistake. This was going to ruin everything. They felt so awkward and uncomfortable and just wrong.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that. They loved Rhys. They still loved Rhys, despite the throbbing in their hole. They didn’t have words for how much they appreciated that Rhys was such a good guy and that he’d been gentle and concerned. They should thank their lucky stars that they’d had such a considerate lover for their first time. Most people weren’t anywhere near that lucky.

All the self-talk in the world couldn’t shift their emotions away from the horrible, black lump that had formed in their gut. They’d fucked everything right up.

As soon as they were certain Rhys was asleep, they shifted away from him and slipped out of bed. Careful not to make a sound, they crept out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Without even turning on the light, they moved to the far corner, then sank to sit against the wall, knees drawn up to their body. They hugged themselves, rested their forehead against their knees, and burst into tears.

So much for having the best day ever. They’d taken all that newfound confidence and destroyed it. They’d destroyed everything.

NINE

The last thoughtthat Rhys remembered having before he fell asleep was that he’d done something wrong. He’d been too exhausted to examine that thought, both in body and mind. All he’d cared about was that he had Early in his arms, the two of them had enjoyed each other, and he might just have taken things to a different level with someone he could see himself having a future with.

He had weird dreams that night. Nothing solid or with a plot of any sort, just that he was cold, the entire house was cold, and he had to search for Early to make sure they weren’t freezing.

Rhys reached for Early first thing when he woke up, but the bed beside him was as cold as his dream. It reignited that feeling that he’d done something really wrong the night before. He stretched groggily and muscled himself up a little to look around the room.

“Early?” he asked, but not too loudly. He didn’t want to wake Early if they were still sleeping somewhere.

Who was he kidding? He didn’t want to call out too loud because he was afraid he’d discovered something he didn’t wantto know. Like the fact that he’d hurt or upset Early in some way by taking things too fast the night before.

He flopped to his back, letting out a heavy sigh and rubbing his hands over his face. It had been good last night, hadn’t it? Early had wanted and been open to being with him. The sounds they made had encouraged him to go on. Maybe a little too much.

Rhys winced and draped one arm over his face, hiding. He’d been wound so tightly last night, and Early had been throwing off every green light, sexy signal known to man. It had made him realize just how badly he’d wanted them and for how long. All the rational excuses to stay away that he’d come up with for the last few months were just that, excuses. The second he was given the go-ahead, he’d definitely gone ahead.

Looking back, he was certain Early hadn’t been as ready as they’d seemed. They’d been incredibly nervous when trying to give him a blow job, like they’d never done it before. And they’d been far too tense once the two of them were horizontal, despite the fact that they’d come. Their movements had been uncertain at every turn, like they had no idea what was going on.

“Shit,” Rhys hissed, rubbed his face again, and pushed himself up and out of bed. It was exactly what he’d been afraid of this whole time, exactly why he hadn’t rushed into flirting with Early or tried to get them in bed earlier. Early hadn’t said a word, but Rhys would have been willing to bet that had been their first time.

“Bloody hell,” he grumbled as he headed to the bathroom to use it and splash some water on his face. He needed a full shower, but first things first. He had a hell of a lot of making things up to Early to do.

He grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms from his wardrobe, put them on, then headed into the flat’s main room.

“Early?” he asked, no longer trying to keep quiet and shrink away from what he’d done and what he knew he had to do as he approached the couch. “Hey. Are you?—”

His question was cut off when he reached the couch and saw it was empty. The cushions were a bit askew, like Early had slept there, but it was empty now.

“Fuck,” Rhys sighed, then headed into the kitchen to flick the kettle on. He needed tea if he was going to think his way through this.

He needed a smack upside the head was what he needed. He should have known better. He was supposed to be the older and wiser one, the one who guided and protected Early. It was horrible of him to not only fail in that duty, but to possibly have caused damage in the process. Why else would Early be absent from his bed and his flat the morning after?

By the time the water had boiled and he made his tea, Rhys had calmed a little and forced himself to think about things more rationally. He and Early had a special connection. It had been pointless of him to brush that aside before, and it would be unforgivable of him to ignore that now. Early had a crush on him—orhadhad a crush on him—and if he were honest, he liked Early, too.

Rhys took a breath and drank some tea, forcing himself to be dead honest. He didn’t just like Early, he loved them. Maybe not head-over-heels, let’s make a rom-com out of it, marriage, children, and the whole nine yards love, but love all the same.

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