Page 13 of Painted

It wasn’t until Rhys was saying goodnight and retreating into his own room that it occurred to Early that something had been off about Rhys all night. They cursed themself for being utterly oblivious until they’d noticed Rhys’s frown just before he’d shut his bedroom door.

That was when the doubt and angst crept in.

What were they doing there? Why had they gone running into Rhys’s arms the second he’d opened them? Why hadn’t they gone to a relative’s house? It wasn’t like their aunt and uncle weren’t supportive.

The doubt got worse as the night wore on and Early tossed and turned on the couch, surrounded by unfamiliar sounds, scents, and expectations.

What right did they even have to walk out on their parents instead of trying to sort things? If they could just explain what being non-binary meant to them, how they desperately didn’t want gender to be the entire definition of who they were and what they wanted from life, then maybe everything would be alright. Who did they think they were to be so stubborn and refuse to at least negotiate?

Those worries transformed into deeper, harsher ones as the night ticked on and Early’s phone displayed the early morning hours when they picked it up.

How stupid had they been to just run out of the house with nothing but their wallet and coat? They hadn’t packed a bag or taken even their toothbrush with them. They were lucky that Rhys had had a spare toothbrush in his cabinet. They didn’t have anything to wear to bed, so Rhys had loaned them an old t-shirt and faded PJ bottoms that were sizes too big. Sure, they smelled like Rhys and that was glorious, but what were they going to wear in the morning?

By the time morning rolled around, sending feeble rays of light through the windows, Early felt worse than they had when they’d arrived at Hawthorne House the night before.

“Did you sleep well?” Rhys asked when he came out of his bedroom, already washed and dressed and looking far too chipper for that hour.

“Yeah, I guess,” Early said, sitting up and hugging the blanket they’d been given to their chest.

They had no idea why they were being so modest, since Rhys had already seen them naked anyhow. That thought only made them blush hard.

“I didn’t hear you in the shower,” they added, forcing themselves to stand and fold the blankets they’d used as Rhys made tea in the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m a morning lark,” Rhys said.

Early stopped their folding and blinked. “Morning lark?”

“It’s the opposite of a night owl,” Rhys said as he took two mugs down from the cupboard.

Early winced. Of course it was. “Oh,” they said, finishing with the blankets. “Right.”

Stupid. How completely stupid could they be?

Very stupid, as it turned out. They nearly tripped over the hem of Rhys’s loaned PJs as they headed into the kitchen. Then they came close to getting tangled up with Rhys when they insisted on at least helping with breakfast. Rhys finally had to order them to sit down and breathe, which left Early feeling like a useless and tragic child.

“Are you going to be okay to work today?” Rhys finally asked once they were seated across the table from each other, eating toast with jam and scrambled eggs.

“Yeah,” Early said, managing to smile.

What they wanted to say was no, they didn’t think they’d be okay at all. They wanted to spill everything to Rhys, tell him that the world was too confusing and overwhelming to them, that they didn’t know who they were or how they fit into life. They wanted to confess that they’d been in love with Rhys since the moment they’d laid eyes on him, that Rhys was the most handsome man they’d ever seen, and that the only thing abouttheir sexuality that they were certain of was that they liked men, Rhys specifically.

None of that felt at all appropriate when Rhys started talking about how the weather was getting cooler and how nice it was that the arts center had added so many new classes and gained so much national notice.

It was almost a relief when Rhys left Early in the flat, trusting them with his personal space and his things as he headed down to his classroom to get a little of his own painting done before his morning class. A relief, and yet Early felt bereft and lost without him.

They forced themself to take a shower, and when there was nothing else for them to put on, they dressed in yesterday’s clothes. It was a small miracle that they’d been able to hide their panties from Rhys, but it didn’t feel great putting on the same pair two days in a row.

“Uh oh,” Rebecca said when Early finally walked into the office downstairs. “Is this the walk of shame I see or something more sinister?”

“More sinister, I’m afraid,” Early said, hugging themself and lowering their head.

“Oh, dear.” Rebecca came out from behind the front desk to give them a big hug.

“Have you been home at all?” Janice asked as she came out of the storeroom off to one side of the office. “Whatever happened, you know we’re here for you, love.”

“My parents kicked me out,” Early explained in as few words as possible, feeling worse with all the tender attention directed at them. It sucked how that happened so often. “I came straight here last night, since I didn’t know where else to go. Rhys was there, and I spent the night with him.”

“Did you now?” Janice asked, arching one of her bohemian eyebrows.

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