Page 33 of Dropping the Ball

Minerva hugged her again. “Under ordinary circumstances, I would find it all very romantic and tragic,” she said. “But only if it were happening to me. You, dearest Bernadette, are far too good and pure to have any thwarted love in your life.”

“Yes, but it would seem that is precisely what I am about to have,” Bernadette said. “I told Alden about Hethersett, and he insisted that we continue with this ball to find him a bride.”

“But you did write to Hethersett that the two of you have been … intimate, did you not?” Kat asked, shifting the way she held Napoleon as the four of them moved toward the seats at the far end of the room. “Surely that must count for something.”

Bernadette felt herself flush hot. “Alden and I have been unable to resist each other,” she confessed, lowering her head as she sat. “Hethersett is more likely to be furious than moved by such things. He … he has not replied to my confession, and that was sent over a fortnight ago. Hethersett always replies immediately.”

“I do not like the sound of that,” Minerva said, sitting with her.

“Neither do I, and it could mean–”

Their intimate conversation was cut short suddenly by a shrill scream from the hallway. “Snake!”

Bernadette gasped and leapt to her feet. “Oh, bother,” she said, starting for the doorway. “One of the constrictors must have escaped.”

The scene that met her in the hallway was one form of panic atop another. There were more guests crowding the front hallway than there should have been. Bernadette had noticed from the earliest hours that double the number of guests that she had invited were arriving. She assumed they were guests that Lady Gladys had invited, but there was little she could do about them once they’d reached Lyndhurst Grove other than work with Mrs. Pettigrew and Mr. Smythe to shuffle the room arrangements.

Lyndhurst’s servants all seemed to be running at full speed as they brought trunks in, fetched tea, and accommodated what were likely a dozen odd requests from the collection of marriage-minded mamas accompanying their daughters. Bernadette hadexperienced it all before and had staffed Lyndhurst accordingly for the weekend, but the usual chaos seemed to be multiplying by the moment.

The cry of “Snake!” and the sudden rush of people flooding back into the front hallway from the long hall felt like a catastrophe waiting to happen.

“All is well,” she called out, making her voice quite loud, which always surprised the people who thought she was nothing but sweetness and calm. “Lyndhurst Grove is home to the finest collection of reptiles and amphibians from the southern Americas in all of Britannia, but most of them are kept well-contained in the terrarium.”

Unless one or more unsuspecting guests had attempted to venture into the terrarium without leave and left the door open.

“It’s a great, vicious snake!” one of the young ladies called out, either not hearing or ignoring Bernadette entirely.

Another scream followed, and the guests already in the front hall surged toward the door. That caused a bit of a pile at that end of the front hallway as more guests were trying to enter the house at the same time.

“Never fear,” one of the young lords who Bernadette was absolutely certain she had not invited called out. “Show me this snake and I will catch it and wring its neck.”

“No!” Bernadette called out, dodging the people who were fleeing the far end of the hall in an attempt to reach whichever snake had escaped. “Please do not approach any of Lord Alden’s reptiles with murderous intention. They are all valuable specimens from exotic locations and should be treated with care and respect.”

Her statement did nothing to calm the panic that was quickly growing in the hallway. The only way to do that was to find and catch the snake herself.

As luck would have it, the snake in question was making no attempt to hide itself. It was perhaps unfortunate that the escapee was Alden’s albino boa constrictor, Phyllis, the largest and longest of the snakes in his collection. It was no wonder the guests were attempting to flee at the sight of it. Even the brash lordling who had promised to kill the snake reeled back with a crude oath when he saw the snake’s size.

“I’ll catch her,” Bernadette said calmly to the guests who had crowded around the hallway but had yet to make their escape.

The month Bernadette had spent at Lyndhurst Grove had removed all her fears of snakes and lizards and other things that crawled. If she were to suddenly find a spider climbing the walls nearby, she would have screamed and run, but the reptiles had become second-nature to her.

“There you are,” she addressed Phyllis the snake in a soothing voice, moving to stand in front of its path as it slithered toward the front of the house. “Do not worry yourself, Phyllis. I have you.”

A chorus of gasps and shuddering sounded from behind her as Bernadette crouched to reach for the snake. She’d only held some of the smaller ones to that point, but other than weight, she did not see much difference in the large constrictor from the small garter snakes that lived naturally in the garden.

“My God, you are brave,” Kat said from somewhere behind Bernadette as she pulled the front part of the snake slowly into her grasp.

Bernadette would have felt brave as well had several things not happened at once a moment later.

First, Alden rushed into the hall from his study, barreling toward her, Lord Waldorf just behind him. His very presence, looking so dashing and heroic as his expression lit with concern for her, caused her heart to dance a jig in her chest. That spoiledher concentration and allowed the snake to slip through her hands.

Simultaneously, Napoleon let out an almighty hiss and leapt from Kat’s arms, scratching her in the process, and shot down the hall in the direction of Phyllis. Napoleon likely had no more interest in the snake than he had in a block of wood, but he had few other options for directions to flee in.

Phyllis did not seem to mind the confusion unfurling around her, but she was curious enough to turn her head toward a terrified Napoleon and to flicker her tongue at the cat. That only spooked Napoleon further, causing him to dart straight for Alden, or rather, Lord Waldorf, as he blocked the hallway.

Lord Waldorf was likely trying to prevent the snake from turning back and escaping, but perhaps on instinct, he attempted to stop Napoleon from running deeper into the house instead. The result was an unfortunate meeting between cat and lord that involved Napoleon tearing up Lord Waldorf’s leg, causing the man to shout in pain, and latching onto his jacket for a moment.

“Get this infernal creature away from me!” Lord Waldorf shouted.

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