Page 33 of Black and Silver

She writhed in her seat, pulling her thick cloak around her to ward off the chill that was beginning to seep through her, threatening to make her shiver. The appeal of creating the fantasy of her own death had waned so much in the last week, and yet, she hated second-guessing herself and changing her mind about something that had been so thrilling when she’d planned it.

“Minerva, are you certain all is well?” Lawrence asked in a careful tone as patters of rain began to beat on the roof of the carriage.

“Yes, of course,” Minnie snapped, fighting off a chill as she hugged herself tighter. “Why would anything be unwell?”

Lawrence seemed to shrink at her words, though for the life of her, Minnie could not fathom why. His reaction made her want to shift to the seat by his side, hug his arm, and rest her head against his shoulder, both for her own comfort and to allay whatever fears he seemed to be having.

That impulse aggravated Minnie to no end. She should not want to be closer to Lawrence when she was a mere week awayfrom dividing herself from him forever. She should not long for him so and ache to cling to him when she knew that was not the path life had in store for her. Wanting something she could not have was as irritating as whatever illness seemed to be creeping up on her, like a phantom stretching its icy fingers over her shoulder and into her heart.

“It is just that you have not been your usual self today,” Lawrence said, squirming in his seat. “And I thought, perhaps, just perhaps, it was something that I, unknowingly and unwittingly, without any sort of malicious thought to begin with….”

He seemed to lose his train of thought and turned silent for a moment.

Minnie swallowed hard, the sensation like that of raking hot coals down the inside of her throat. She wanted to smile at Lawrence and reassure him of her affection for him, but the pain of knowing it was all about to end, and the discomfort of her body at that moment, had her tongue stuck as though it were in a clamp.

“I mean,” Lawrence went on, squirming more than ever, “I know I should have been more forthright in asking whether you wanted…if it was acceptable to…I would not wish you to think that I took liberties where I should not, and….”

Minnie’s gaze had drifted outside the carriage, but she snapped, “I told you I was not a virgin. Do not fear that you have ruined me or offended my person in some way. I can assure you, you have not.”

It was a horribly wrong thing to say, and her words were made harsher by the scratchy peevishness of her tone.

“Oh,” Lawrence said, his shoulders sinking and his head lowering in response. “I was worried for nothing, then.”

He made a valiant attempt to smile, as if the whole thing were a jest, but the effect was devastating to Minnie. Her heartnearly broke at Lawrence’s sweetness and gentle manner. Her increasingly sore throat felt even tighter, and every swallow was agony with tears that threatened to burst out of her.

What had she done? What sort of fool was she to let her heart break free from her ribs and run toward a man as wonderful and unattainable as Lawrence? She was neither free to love nor prepared to. Even if she did abandon months of planning and years of blessed independence for Lawrence’s sake, there was still the matter of Owen to contend with. He still had a claim on her, according to the laws of the Kingdom of Wales. She would have to convince him to let her go before she could turn to Lawrence. Either way, her parents certainly would not approve of her marrying an artist.

Marrying Lawrence. Good God, she had gotten ahead of herself!

The afternoon grew more gloomy and unpleasant by the moment. Minnie managed to sleep fitfully for a short time as the beating of the rain on the carriage roof lulled her to oblivion. It was neither restful nor productive, though.

She was awakened by a sickening crunch and a jolt that nearly threw her from her seat. The carriage had stopped entirely.

“What is it?” she asked in a hoarse voice, dragging herself out of her stupor. “What has happened?”

“I do not know,” Lawrence said in a tired, defeated voice.

He stood as much as he could, reached for the door handle, and opened it to peer outside. The rain was steady but light, but it had clearly been heavier in that area a short while before.

“Silas, what appears to be the problem?” he called up.

Moments later, the carriage dipped, and the angle of Lawrence’s gaze indicated Silas had jumped down. Minnie heard a squelch of boots in mud, then Silas’s sodden form appeared in the doorway.

“We’re stuck in a rut, my lord,” Silas said gravely. “The roads are all but washed out. I’ve a bad feeling that the extra weight we’re carrying might have bogged us down more than we would have been otherwise, and I heard a crack I didn’t like on top of that.”

“We heard it as well,” Lawrence said.

Silas nodded gravely, then said, “The best we can do for now is to push the carriage out of the rut and ride on. At best, we’ll need to find shelter soon so’s I can check the carriage over.”

“And at worst?” Lawrence asked.

Silas glanced warily to him. “You let me worry about that, my lord. Let’s pray for shelter before we pester the Almighty with anything else.”

Lawrence sighed, then nodded. “I’ll do whatever you need me to,” he said, stepping down from the carriage.

Minnie rushed to step down after him. Sense said she should wait where it was dry, but stubbornness kept her from being left out of whatever self-rescuing efforts needed to be made.

“I’ll guide the horses to pull,” Silas said, heading toward where the exhausted horses were bobbing their heads as the rain picked up while pointing to the back of the carriage. “You try pushing from behind.”

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