Page 28 of Thrown

“Cheers,” Toby said, heading into the bathroom.

Robbie was as tense as a bowstring until Toby shut the door behind him. Then he deflated. He couldn’t do it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t ask Toby to sleep with him. Toby would probably just laugh at him if he did.

The awkwardness of the missed moment continued as Robbie changed for bed, then took his turn in the bathroom. By the time he came out with his teeth and face clean and bladder emptied, Toby was already stretched out on the sofa, head resting on a pillow he’d swiped from the bed, arms tucked over the blanket. Robbie’s last chance to try to break the wall between them was gone.

“Night,” Toby called to him as Robbie climbed into bed.

“Goodnight,” Robbie answered, reaching to turn out the light.

He settled in to try to sleep with a sigh. Rebecca would be so disappointed in him.

The next morning started early. Toby was apparently far more of a morning person than Robbie was. He was in and out of the bathroom, then let Robbie know he was headed down to the hotel gym for a bit before Robbie was even out of bed.

By the time he came back, Robbie had at least dragged himself into the shower, then dressed in the artistically casual clothing The Ceramics Challenge producer had said he should wear for filming. Everything felt stilted but brimming with potential as Robbie waited for Toby to shower, then dress in a suit, of all things.

“It’s a ceramics factory,” he said as he watched Toby tying his tie, trying not to get turned on by the simple act. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

“People take you seriously if you’re wearing a suit,” Toby said, straightening his tie.

“They’ll take you seriously because you’re there to do business with them, or at least to observe their business,” Robbie argued as Toby grabbed his jacket and shrugged into it. He really was fit. Robbie wished he’d gotten a glimpse of him shirtless, at least, but Toby was apparently also modest.

“No one has ever taken me seriously unless I forced them to,” Toby said with a frown for his reflection, then turned and started for the door, like he would leave with or without Robbie.

He was probably right, Robbie realized. He could pretend they lived in a fair and equitable world all he liked, but the truth was that people who looked and sounded like Toby were rarely treated the way people who looked and sounded like him were.

He frowned over the thought as they walked to the lift. Was that him coming around to see things Toby’s way, or was he just getting wiser with age?

The old ceramics factory where The Ceramics Challenge was filmed was just a short walk down the street. They didn’t bothertaking a cab or calling an Uber, since it would probably have taken longer to go through that than to just walk.

Once they reached the factory, they were greeted by a member of the production who was already on the lookout for them.

“We’ll film your highlight spot first thing this morning,” the young man said. “The contestants will be here by ten, at which point we’ll film you introducing the challenge along with Dino and Laura.”

They were the hosts of the show, and both accomplished ceramicists in their own right. Robbie was looking forward to meeting them.

“Hair and make-up are in here,” the production assistant went on. “Your boyfriend can stay with you, if you’d like, or you’re welcome to make use of the green room.”

Toby laughed. Robbie frowned and said, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” The assistant blinked. “Sorry. It’s just that the two of you have a sort of—never mind. I’m so sorry.”

“Think of me as his agent,” Toby said, puffing himself up a bit. “And I think I’ll take you up on that green room offer.”

As Robbie stepped into the hair and make-up room, Toby walked off with the assistant, already talking the young man’s ear off. Robbie refused to let himself feel abandoned, let alone jealous. The entire point of Toby being there was to discover how the production worked and to possibly come up with ideas for things Hawthorne House could do to expand their offerings.

It didn’t matter what he told himself or how he tried to focus on the show and his part in it as the day got started, Toby stayed stuck in the background of Robbie’s thoughts. Everyone on the set and in the studio was incredibly nice, the production had a positive and fun feeling to it, and he found it far easier to talk about himself for the highlight segment he filmed first, but atall times, Robbie was aware of where Toby was, and where he wasn’t.

Toby was there, watching as Robbie gave his interview. He wasn’t there for the long stretch after the interview, while the crew set up the workroom and Robbie met Dino and Laura.

Toby was there again for the fiddly, technical bits right before they filmed the introduction of the challenge, though he lingered in the wings, talking to everyone he could get to spare a few moments for him. He wasn’t there as Robbie put on a smile and did his best to look like the celebrated professional he supposedly was as he introduced the day’s challenge to the contestants.

Then came the long wait in the middle of the afternoon as the contestants completed the challenge. Robbie had been brought in to demonstrate historic techniques for working with a kick wheel, like the sort he had in his outdoor workshop at Hatfield House. The contestants were excited about the prospect of giving preindustrial techniques of cup-making a try, but that also meant they were so focused on what they were doing that Robbie was suddenly shifted to the background again.

“We usually spend this time getting other business done,” Dino explained as they walked to the green room. “I’ve got a call with my agent, but once that’s done, we should sit and talk shop.”

“I’d love that,” Robbie said with a smile.

That smile dropped as soon as he turned the corner into the green room and found Toby sitting far too close with another man in a suit. Anotherattractiveman in a suit who seemed to be hanging on Toby’s every word, the spark of interest in his eyes.

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