Page 36 of Thrown

“So something did happen,” Rhys said, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“No, nothing did,” Robbie insisted, heading back to the kitchen as the kettle clicked off.

“You wouldn’t have rushed to see whether Toby left a mark if nothing happened,” Rhys pointed out.

The bastard had him pinned and figured out. There was nothing Robbie could do but confess to make his brother shut up and leave it alone.

“Something almost happened,” he said as he poured hot water. “But we were both so drunk it didn’t go anywhere. Then I spent the rest of the evening vomiting into the hotel toilet.”

Rhys had the gall to laugh. Robbie was still sensitive enough that the sound made his head pound as he headed to the fridge for milk.

“Why does none of that surprise me?” Rhys said, shaking his head. “But something might have happened.”

“It would have been a mistake,” Robbie insisted.

“A mistake?” Rhys looked surprised. “Why?”

“Because….”

Robbie fished for an answer as he finished making his tea. He and Toby would never work, he was certain. And it wasn’t because of the class difference, like Toby would have accused him of.

It was because Toby was everything and Robbie was well aware he was nothing. Toby would get bored of him and moveon, just like Keith did. He didn’t think he could handle a second disappointment like that.

“I don’t need to justify myself to you,” Robbie said as he put the milk back in the fridge. “And besides, Toby can’t have much longer on this job. He’ll make his assessment report to Dad, and then he’ll be back in London, climbing the corporate ladder and making an incredible name for himself, while I’ll continue on here, teaching community art classes.”

Robbie was certain Rhys would nag him about that or tease him about something, but instead, Rhys narrowed his eyes a little and studied him with a look Robbie couldn’t figure out.

“Is that what you think?” Rhys said at last.

“That Toby will leave and forget about me? Yes.”

Rhys shifted his stance as Robbie drank his hot tea. He’d forgotten to put sugar in, but he was too proud to put it in now and admit to yet another mistake.

“Everyone loves your ceramics classes, you know,” Rhys said, a puzzled look on his face.

“Yes, I know,” Robbie sighed, rubbing his sore head with one hand while staring into his disappointing tea. “Which is a good thing, since that’s all I’ll ever amount to.”

“You just did a guest spot on a nationally popular television show,” Rhys pointed out.

Robbie took another drink of tea to avoid saying anything more. He’d heard the whole pep talk before. Teaching for his family was a noble and worthy profession. The recognition he’d received for his work was admirable. There was nothing wrong with not being as ambitious as Ryan or Rafe, because the two of them were over the top in their drive to achieve.

Stop comparing yourself.

If Robbie had a pound for every time someone had told him that, the family wouldn’t be in the financial straits they were in.

“Look,” he said at last, leaning back against the kitchen counter and allowing himself to relax a fraction. “I appreciate that you and Rebecca, and God knows who else in the family cares about me enough to try to set me up with someone, but it’s just not what I want right now.”

“You sure?” Rhys said, scrutinizing him like only an older brother could. “Because the happiest I’ve ever seen you in your life is when you’re in a committed relationship.”

“But they don’t last,” Robbie said. “They end, and then I’m a mess. So it would be better for me to stay single and not get my hopes up, about anything, than to reach for something more and fall short.”

Rhys made a drawn-out humming noise and nodded slowly. “I see,” he said.

“What do you see?” Robbie asked, outwardly annoyed, but shaking in his boots internally.

“You’re afraid of getting hurt.”

Robbie took another fortifying gulp of bitter tea. “I don’t need my older brother psychoanalyzing me,” he said.

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