Page 46 of Whiskers and Wiles

“I was thinking,” Kat continued, “that if the Mercian Plan were to succeed and women could marry for reasons other than needing a husband to survive, then perhaps more marriages would be entered into because of love. And if that were the case, perhaps Lady Walsingham’s mad philosophies would actually have merit, and parties such as this would be helpful rather than absolutely?—”

“No talking, only gazing,” Lady Walsingham said as she swept near to them on her circuit around the circle. “When beloveds learn to speak heart to heart instead of lips to lips, that is when true communion begins.”

Kat had to admit a part of her agreed with that notion. Between the spark of humor and camaraderie in Waldorf’s eyes and the odd notion that Lady Walsingham might be a visionary after all, Kat could feel her resistance to the party soften.

Until Lady Walsingham added, “The greatest communication between beloveds comes when lips converse with genitals.”

Kat snorted so hard and so suddenly that she began to cough. The fit took her by surprise and was made more difficult to overcome by the laughter that tried to bubble out at her at the same time as her throat spasmed.

“I believe I inhaled an insect,” she managed to choke out when Lady Walsingham looked at her questioningly.

“There have been quite a few insects flying about and becoming lodged in our throats since the party began,” the lady who sat a few feet behind Kat said with a particular look.

That only made Kat want to laugh harder, but she knew she could not. As much of a relief as it was to know that she was not the only one who found the party absurd, Lady Walsingham was the one she needed to befriend and influence.

Kat calmed her unfurling spirits by glancing past Waldorf, to the collection of chairs off to the side of the topiary garden, to where Lord Headland had firmly positioned himself. He was ostensibly reading a book, but Kat did not think she’d seen him turn a single page since the activity had begun.

“There,” Lady Walsingham said at last. “The ritual has ended. You may now kiss your partner and thank them for revealing themselves to you.”

Kat met Waldorf’s eyes. She could tell that neither of them were particularly pleased by the amount of public kissing they had been asked to do since arriving. But to refuse or seem anything less than enthusiastic could lead to their exposure as not engaged and their expulsion. Since Kat was not interested in failing another mission and facing Queen Matilda’s wrath a second and perhaps worse time, she leaned in and brought her lips to Waldorf’s.

Which, thanks to Lady Walsingham’s earlier comment, immediately brought to mind bringing her lips to other parts of him.

Kat wondered if Waldorf was experiencing the same problem of imagination when his kiss lasted far longer than she supposed it should. Then again, every other couple seemed to be kissing longer than just a peck as well.

“Now, if you will rise and follow me,” Lady Walsingham said, “our next togetherness exercise has been prepared for us on the east lawn.”

“God only knows what she’ll demand we do next,” Waldorf muttered, taking Kat’s arm so he could escort her the way the other gentlemen were escorting their ladies. “And does the woman not recognize how chilled the air is? I believe poor Mrs. Norris is chilled to the bone.”

Kat glanced ahead of them, to where some of the other couples had already jumped to follow Lord and Lady Walsingham to the east lawn. Mrs. Norris was huddled close to her husband, who seemed to be rubbing warmth back into her as they walked.

“We must play along as though we are warming each other,” she said. “It is the only way we will find ourselves close enough to our host and hostess to speak to them about the Mercian Plan.”

“Oddly,” Waldorf said, making a puzzled face as they walked on somewhere in the middle of the pack of guests, “I believe it will be easier to convince both Lord and Lady Walsingham of the merits of unity under Mercian terms than perhaps anyone has anticipated it would be.”

Kat nodded in agreement. “I do not know about Lord Walsingham’s opinions, but Lady Walsingham seems to think in quite a forward way. She certainly believes in free love.”

“I was under the impression that Mercians invented the concept of free love,” Waldorf said with a sly, sideways grin.

“Of course we did not,” Kat said, tilting her chin up and sniffing as she’d always been wont to do. “Free love has existed from time immemorial.”

She expected some sort of sharp reply from Waldorf, but instead, he merely chuckled.

Kat smiled at the sound. She was not certain whether it was their forced proximity, the importance of the mission they’d been given, or the general air of madness all around them at Oxwick Park, but she felt lighter and more determined to create a favorable outcome to the circumstances she found herself in than she ever had before.

“Welcome, my friends, to our next activity,” Lady Walsingham said once she had led them all to what looked like the strangest mix of items Kat had ever seen strewn across the grass. “As you know, there will be many times in your married lives when you and your beloved are called upon to accomplish great things together.”

Kat grinned, then pressed her free hand to her mouth before peeking up at Waldorf. What greater thing could a pair of lost souls be asked to accomplish together besides attempting to steer the course of history by ensuring Britannia was united correctly?

“To approximate the sort of things that we are all asked to accomplish with our beloveds in life, I have devised this test of each of your ability to work together to complete a series of tasks. First, you see I have provided you all with a pall-mall mallet and ball. You must work together to hit the ball through the hoop farther along the course.”

Everyone looked to find small wickets about thirty yards distant from where they all stood.

“Beyond those hoops, you will find buckets,” Lady Walsingham continued. “Each of those buckets is filled with many wooden balls, and five each that have been painted to resemble wood. You must work together to find them.

“Easy enough,” the lord standing just opposite Waldorf said.

“This is preposterous,” Waldorf muttered, glancing to Kat.

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