Page 96 of Broken Promises

“Mom ODed again last night,” I said before I could stop myself, my fingers gripping the steering wheel.

“Did she die this time?”

“Nah, the fucking guards found her in time and saved her for some stupid reason,” I sighed, parking the car outside the community center but not making a move to get out. “Why won’t she just die, Rae? Is this the universe punishing me for something?”

“Because she’s a cockroach, and those fuckers never die,” she grumbled, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning closer to take one of my hands in both of hers. “Look at me.”

I did, not caring that she saw my devastation and silent anger. She’d seen me stripped bare and bleeding, so this was nothing compared to that.

Being vulnerable around Raven was something I never had to worry about.

“The world can’t punish someone who’s done nothing wrong. You’ve endured more than anyone should, and it fucking owes you. Don’t let her take up space in your head, okay? She’s the one being punished, rotting away in that prison, ODing over and over again and wishing for death to take her, but it won’t. She’s not done paying for what she did, and that’s why she won’t die. Dying would be a mercy to her.”

I hadn’t thought of it like that before, something cracking in my chest at the realization. She wasn’t alive to punish me, she was alive because while she was breathing, she was suffering.

“I know she’s not getting out, and I shouldn’t be afraid of running into her, but I am. What if—” My voice broke, and Raven grabbed my face in her hands to force me to hold her gaze.

“She should be afraid ofyou. You have nothing to fear, you have an army of people behind you that would tear her apart before she even got close enough to breathe the same air as you. There’s no way she’s getting out, but find comfort in the fact that even if she did, she wouldn’t get near you,” she said fiercely, holding my head tighter when I tried to look away, her voicesoftening. “I will kill her and anyone else with my bare fucking hands before someone gets to touch you again without your permission. Understand?”

I nodded, blinking back tears and taking a deep breath to calm myself.

She let me go and opened her door, sensing my need to end the conversation, and she lit a cigarette once she was outside the car, giving me a second alone to collect my thoughts.

Raven always centered me when I put myself in a panic about that bitch, so I was glad I’d opened up about it now. She was right, Mom couldn't do shit to me, and her being alive to suffer was a good thing.

I stepped out of the car and Raven gave me what was left of her cigarette, leaning back against my car with a small smile. “Doesn’t it look good?”

I glanced around as I blew smoke into the air, nodding. “They’ve done an awesome job. When do they open?”

“Soon. They’re just finishing up with a few things, and then they should be good to open the doors to the public,” she explained, motioning for me to follow her as she started pointing out where everything was.

Having a laundromat and accessible bathrooms was so helpful to a lot of people, and if they had the right security, this could become a really important part of the community. Kids could bathe, and they could beg for coins if they had to in order to come here and wash clothes when their parents were on a bender.

This was life changing.

We found Diesel and Marco inside when we poked our heads in, and I had to do a double take when Diesel spotted us and gave Raven a warm smile. It wasn’t just a smile you gave someone to be polite, there was genuine kindness and familiarity in it.

“Hey. Checking in?” he asked as Raven grabbed my wrist to tug me inside behind her.

“Showing Logan. He hasn’t had a good look through here yet,” she smiled back.

I guessed they were best friends now or something.

Diesel was more than happy to give me a tour, updating Raven on things they’d previously talked about. I couldn’t lie, I was impressed by everything they’d done.

Marco started asking Raven questions about some of the local kids, and Diesel pulled me aside.

“I don’t need to threaten you, do I?” he asked, making me frown.

“For what?”

“Raven.”

“You’re sure stepping up to play daddy,” I grunted, scowling as he smacked the back of my head.

“It’s not like her actual father is looking out for her. You know what I see when I look at her? My kids. She’s only a year younger than Riley, and yet she’s had no parent to be there for her. I met Rory when she was seventeen, and she was exactly like Raven. Chip on her shoulder, a piece of shit father who abused her, and so much goddamn damage. I know Raven at least had you boys, but she still needs stable adults in her life that she can turn to. I’m not trying to be herdaddy,” he growled. “I’m just trying to show her that she has people that she can turn to.”

I glanced at Raven as she laughed at something Marco said, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “I’m not used to her being able to rely on anyone else. It’s hard to let it happen, especially when I fucked it up with her and made her feel like she couldn’t come to me anymore.”

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